Tomos James, Funeral Celebrant

Your funeral director will usually contact me on your behalf, although you’re also welcome to get in touch with me directly.

Once I have your details, I aim to contact you within 24–72 hours to introduce myself and arrange a time for us to meet.

From then on, I’ll work directly with you while continuing to stay in touch with your funeral director about the practical details.

We can meet:

• face-to-face, somewhere that feels comfortable and convenient for you;
• over the phone;
• by video call using Zoom, Teams or another service.

We can also work through email if that suits you better, although it offers less room for the natural conversation we would have together.

Please invite anyone whose support or input you would value.

I’ll stay in touch with your funeral director and contact the venue to confirm how much time we have for the ceremony.

You don’t need to prepare anything before we meet.

But if you prefer to have some time to think things through, Preparing for our meeting introduces the areas we may explore together.

You can expect me to be on time — and if I think I’m running late, I’ll call you.

Once you feel settled, we’ll move through our meeting at your own pace and:

• confirm the practical details;
• talk about how you would like the ceremony to feel;
• explore what you might like to include and ways to make it personal;
• spend time with the memories and stories of the person who died.

Only share as much as you’re comfortable with. If I ask something you don’t want to answer, you can say no. And if you share something you don’t want included in the ceremony, just let me know.

With your permission, I’ll voice-record our meeting to support my note-taking. The recording will be deleted once the ceremony has been agreed.

Please allow us around two hours.

I’ll update your funeral director on any practical details they need to know.

I won’t start writing immediately. I like to let our conversation settle and spend some time with the memories, stories and wishes you’ve shared.

It typically takes me three to four days to bring the first draft of the ceremony together.

If family or friends are writing something to be included, this also gives them time to prepare their contributions.

You can continue sending me anything else you remember or would like included.

Once the first draft of the ceremony is ready, I’ll call to let you know.

I can read it through with you, or send you a copy to read in your own time.

Feel free to change every single word, if needed. We’ll make any changes together until the ceremony feels right.

On the last working day before the ceremony, I’ll call to check in, confirm any outstanding details and run through the ceremony, if needed.

I’ll also speak with your funeral director to confirm how everything will proceed.

I’ll arrive at the venue around 30 minutes before the ceremony begins. This gives me time to prepare myself and, when it becomes available, the ceremony space.

I’ll look out for you and offer reassurance to anyone taking part. If somebody feels unable to read their contribution on the day, I can read it for them.

When the time comes, I’ll guide everyone through the ceremony and our farewell.

Once the ceremony has finished, I’ll remain with your funeral director until you’re ready to leave.

The following day, I’ll get in touch to see how you’re doing and to thank you for trusting me with the ceremony.

I am available for you to call, message or email whenever you need to get in touch.

Please note that my phone is set to silent from 8 pm. If you call after this time, I’ll most likely return your call the following day.