A vicar * or a celebrant led funeral?
(* other religious leaders available.)
Let’s delve into the difference between a vicar or celebrant led funeral…
Sitting with the funeral director, discussing how we’d like the funeral to proceed. A question that’ll pop up will be:
“Would you like this to be a religious or non-religious funeral ceremony?”
(Or some variation thereof.)
And we might sit there a little stumped by the choice. Not truly appreciating the question being asked. Because honestly, beyond the obvious, what really is the difference?
A vicar*? A what now?
Many of us can say what a vicar (or other religious leader) does. We might not be able to give a talk on the subject. And thankfully, that’s rarely needed. But we have a good idea.
And we might know our local leader. Or be able to pick one out from a crowd.
A celebrant, though, is something else.
Upon hearing the word, many of us utter “a what now?”
And of those who nod, only a handful nod with certainty.
Even watching a celebrant in action doesn’t really clear the matter up.
And just to make things a tad less glaring – a lot of celebrants blend in. Making them near impossible to pick out from a crowd.
So, what is a celebrant?
It sounds like a made-up word – celebrant – but the idea has been ongoing since Roman times. Possibly earlier. And got its current form in 70s Australia. When Lionel Murphy, Australian Commonwealth Attorney General, appointed Lois D’Arcy as a Civil Marriage Celebrant. Establishing civil celebrancy in the country. And eventually giving all its citizens the freedom to choose between religious and celebrant led weddings and funerals.
And it’s not the easiest word to say – celibate, anyone? Yet, it’s a word as it sounds: celebrate! To gather in honour.
In short, a celebrant is someone who brings people together. Who leads them through their gathering, giving structure and order. Who helps mark life’s milestones. And who lays the foundations for celebration.
Hang on – isn’t that basically a vicar*?
Yes and no.
While vicars and other religious leaders do bring people together and help them mark life’s milestones. They often do so using predetermined methods and texts. And often find themselves constrained by religious customs and scripture. And unable to truly personalise the ceremony and celebration to the individual.
A celebrant, on the other hand, isn’t compelled to follow a set structure. And while many will include elements of religion (such as hymns, readings, and prayers). The ceremony they can create has the freedom to truly reflect the individual. It can pull together all the little things that make that person loved. And celebrate their milestone as they would wish it celebrated.
Choosing a celebrant…
Pop online and you’ll find loads and loads of celebrants. Indeed, your chosen funeral director will have a few in their books.
When choosing a celebrant. Have a look on their website to see how well they fit the ceremony you have in mind. If you’d like religious elements included, some celebrants are more comfortable with their inclusion than others. And others can bring along elements that capture all manner of beliefs, outlooks, and lives.
And meet with the celebrant.
Unlike with a religious leader, the ceremony the celebrant will create will be bespoke and personal. And this needs to be bespoke and personal to you.
The most important thing always being: Never feel obligated to use a celebrant (unless they’re a perfect fit for you).
And when in doubt, speak with your peers and chosen funeral director.
Celebrant.
