Thrilling half-hour
POWERCUT! I haven’t had one of these since for ages. I remember them to be adventure-filled in childhood. Initially, I thought it was the fusebox since that likes to trip when it’s bored. But no, outside the window was utter darkness. Eerie, walking along the streets. Street after street. Cars going by. No lights. Palmerston Road was […]
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A weekend recuperating
Thanks to Natwest’s helpfulness, I lost my shit Thursday afternoon. And I know exactly where I lost it, too, in their ears! And as I’ve grown accustomed, losing my shit this way finds me a vertigo migraine. Oh, the joys! I’d rather not lose my shit in the first place, but it can’t be helped […]
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Natwest, the helpful bank: “Oh, you want your money back? That’s easy! We can help! All you got to do is jump through this hoop. And this one. And now this one. And this one, too. We can’t forget this one, it’s our favourite. And this one. And…”
Back near the end of September, I purchased myself an 11-foot paddle-board. What I received was a 2-foot ladybird. I don’t really know what it is, but it ain’t 11-foot long that’s for certain. I e-mailed the company and they said they’d get back to me but didn’t. I Facebooked them and got told that […]
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A weekend of dramatic scenery
Calling the Jurassic Coast ‘dramatic’ really doesn’t give a sense of just how dramatic it is. If it were a person it would be crowned — MOVE OVER LIZZIE! REAL ROYALTY HERE! There’s a view that it’s dramatic just because it can. Jagged cliffs, crashing waves — a seagull doing somersaults in the wind. It’s […]
Read more***precious raspy voice sounds drowned out by loud music
I’m not one to lose my voice. Considering the shit I’ve lost over the years — from my keys to my sanity — my voice has never been one of them. I like to think this is because my voice is too scared to be misplaced. If it got lost, it would face my wrath (upon its […]
Read moreA weekend that should not have needed to be
There isn’t much to be said about this weekend. It had its Saturday and Sunday. It was 48-hours long. It played the hand that Life had dealt. It was good and bad, pretty and ugly. There isn’t much to be said. Amid its love and hopelessness, there was us standing, stood — held taught and caught, […]
Read moreA weekend not visiting the parents
Now that I’m with car, the 3-hour drive to their respective homes almost promotes regular visits through ease alone. It’s a case now of jump in the car and go! No 5-hour train journey. No asking my father to pick me up and drop me home. I’m independent now, baby. But neither parent wanted me. […]
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A weekend hoping I’d understood the temporary parking restrictions correctly*
* If not, Berty would get us our first fine and he’d get towed. He’d get thrown in lockup! And knowing his owner, he’d pick up the soap…
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P!NK IS COMING TO WEMBLEY!!!
AND I’VE GOT TICKETS!!! I can barely contain myself. It’s taken me the whole day to write this ’cause, you know…
Read moreI now see
It’s the little things I now notice All the things I didn’t see Couldn’t see Didn’t want to Why would I? I wouldn’t have been me
Read moreA weekend of 2 halves
On the one side, I was resting a migraine. On the other, my main man Myles’ 4th birthday party!!! Saturday saw me catch up with all my series’ since moving was vetoed. Sunday saw my first (by car) visit to Lidl, followed by a 4-year-olds birthday party! I couldn’t find everything I had to get […]
Read moreA week of migraines (I know how to live)
This past week’s vertigo migraine was likely born of excess because I haven’t noticed any stress around. A little party here — one over there — it’s no stretch to see how a miserable migraine won’t like it. Perish the thought of having fun. Sickness and underwater vision. Dizziness on a tightrope. It’s such a worthy […]
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A weekend after a week of near-misses
Okay, there were only 2, and they both happened last Monday, but they resonated.
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A weekend to drink
It was Nadine’s birthday bash this weekend — destination, Southampton! Because Shaun has, in his own words, ‘ferried my fat arse around for fifteen years’, it was my turn to drive. It’s fortunate, therefore, that I can. After an uneventful journey, and some confusion with a parking meter, we got to Nadine’s and I got […]
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Trains, boats, and buses — a public transport adventure
Somewhat been a plan of mine for a good year, today I took my little man Myles on a grand public transport adventure! Our route was circular because I like circles, and we hit up all the classics. A train to Portsmouth Harbour A ferry to Gosport A bus to Fareham A train back home For […]
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A tale that’s taken all day to write
Last night, whilst lying in bed feeling sorry for myself because my nose hurts and I don’t want to blow it any more The thought hit me like a truck I didn’t stick Bertie’s wing mirrors in! I know how to do it now — it just takes that bit more force than I was […]
Read moreA weekend before a streaming nose
I woke up this morning with my brain streaming from my nose. It has to be my brain because my sinuses can’t possibly produce this amount of snot. (Current peak at a whole bog roll per 2 hours.) Also, I feel dumber – my brain is like soup dribbling out of my nostrils. Had I […]
Read moreSeeing you
Starry eyes Sleepless nights A little time A little delight Looking through And looking out A humble song A little doubt Wondering if And hoping, too A little wish Here with you Do you notice? I sure do I see so much I’m seeing you
Read moreBertie’s first (with me) MOT
I’m feeling all grown up, doing grown up things like taking the car to get its MOT. I was a little nervous because I’ve heard about other people’s failed MOTs, and I had to kill an hour waiting. But as I suspected, Bertie is in fine fighting form! He has been given 2 advisories – […]
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A weekend smelling like an alien *
* they smell like Boss Orange if you were wondering.
Read moreI don’t know why I bother searching
I don’t know why I bother I only lose my mind Every single time I search for the things I need to find I convince myself I’m certain I do know where they are! I tingle-bone ‘cause I do know they haven’t wandered far But they’re never where I put them They’re never where they’re […]
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A contactless current account card — something everyone has but me
Never had one. My cousin has lent me hers to use on the tube and I didn’t know what to do with it. I found it very niffty how you just tap and walk away. It’s made me want one. I see all these people saving their seconds and here I am having to find […]
Read moreThis bloody fool has only gone and got himself some vertigo migraine
I was sorting out a job in work, looking between paperwork, so looking down, and I was looking down for far too long. When I looked up again, the floor followed. The floor’s been following me and walls have been hugging me ever since lunch. No nausea, though, YAY!!! — well, a slight twinge but […]
Read moreA weekend in Portsmouth
How last weekend saw nuptials and migraines, this weekend didn’t. There were no weddings to attend, no vertigo to steady — instead, allotment-working and paddle boarding. And how last weekend seemed to linger around, this weekend vanished — it’s my one complaint. Saturday saw me start the morning feeding a parrot. Charlie the parrot. She’s very […]
Read moreA weekend for a wedding
Torquay, again. This time for Tanya’s wedding. These past 4 weekends have seen me driving to and from Cornwall, Torquay (twice now), and having a migraine. The migraine weekend was meant to see me in Cornwall but the migraine made me housebound. With all these long journeys behind me and the one ahead, and with […]
Read moreI’m soooo tired but I’ve got so much to do! 😫😴
I’m proper sleepy tired. I’m at that level of tired where I could just cry because I’m that tired. I’m not going to because I’ve got stuff to do. Shitloads. I had like an hour last night, 2 and a half, absolute max. Just lying there a bit riled up, nose disjointed, and in regular […]
Read moreA long weekend that wasn’t the planned bank holiday
With this bank holiday being the arsehole of a migraine, my plans had to change because arseholes are fussy about what’s in them. Originally, it was Friday and Saturday in Cornwall for Kaytes birthday followed by lad-time with Myles and Shaun. Revised, the furthest I drove was a lonesome mile followed by jack shit. To […]
Read moreVictorious worsens
OMG, it’s now got some pulsing shit going and a screeching thing. THE CROWD IS GOING WILD! I think it’s Sunday’s headline act — Paul Weller? Not long now. Not long. And to think, just before this latest act started I’d written one whole sentence. A whole one! Officially no more blank page. I’m stuck again […]
Read moreVictorious in writer’s block
It’s bank holiday, it’s August, I’m in Portsmouth — it’s Victorious Festival! Yay! If I was at Victorious I’d be even more for it. But living so near and having it so loud has turned it annoying on day 3 when I would just like some quiet time to write. It’s been indistinct sound for […]
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Migraine 😒
I’m sat here with another migraine. You people are jealous. My eyesight’s funny, tummy ain’t happy, and I feel heavy. Top heavy. Very unstable. This one’s been in the making for 2 weeks. Since the last outburst, I’ve been mildly migrainous every day and I’m not stupid, I can read the signs. I can’t do […]
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A weekend cluck-cluck-clucking
When roses are red And violets are blue They party, the unwed Before their “I do”
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A weekend with George Ezra
Beginning a day later than scheduled (due to migraine), this weekend kicked off with a Saturday drive to Cornwall. I set off at an ungodly 0630 and arrived 4 hours later, having seen Stonehenge on my detour. (I’ve yet to travel to Cornwall without a detour. This is the 2nd time I’ve driven this way, […]
Read moreToday’s vertigo migraine episode was most likely borne of tiredness
I also didn’t eat a great deal yesterday, but I think my lack of sleep is the culprit. For this past week, I’ve been probably getting 2 hours. Instead of sleeping, just lying there thinking of random things. Singing songs. Running through scenarios. Work has told me to tell them if I feel unwell. I […]
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Duvet buttonholes
Oh button’d holes of duvet sheet, Who start the night down by my feet, Why do you move when I’m asleep To ‘sure I wake to buttons greet?
Read moreA weekend procrastinating
Why do today what can be done tomorrow? That was the mantra of this past weekend. It’s somewhat the mantra of my life but that’s another story. It all began without a road trip to London. Now I think of it, that may have been pencilled in for the weekend before. Whichever, it hasn’t happened. […]
Read moreA weekend of refreshing rain
I’ll not lie, I enjoyed the rain. It was much needed. I did think Saturday’s ‘thunderstorm’ could’ve done better, though. 3 pathetic whimpers and a spot of dampness. The minimum I expect from a thunderstorm is to be awed. Anything less and it’s barely enough to look out the window. Sunday’s blustery drizzly day with […]
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It’s almost been too long — it’s that time again! Let me hear a whoop whoop!
Well, the heat and Tuesday’s bad mood have conspired to bring about a vertigo migraine. Yippee! Nausea has my heart always. And in this spirit of romance, today I took my lover to the cinema. I would’ve preferred being reclined on the sofa. Actually, I would’ve preferred no migraine, but I can’t have everything. I […]
Read moreA weekend too nice to drive
Saturday was too nice a day to be heading to the allotment by car. This place can be visited on foot and with cider. So this is what I did. It took a little over an hour and I was in desperate need of a piss by the time I got there. En route, I […]
Read moreI want to say something
I want to say something I’ve got so much on my mind But these thoughts don’t have the words to speak that do not sound like lies They sound like my delusions Like confusion with life itself Aloud they sound like I have fallen off my lucid shelf But I do not think that decent […]
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The windscreen washer jets arrived!
Erm… what?
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Bertie’s first ouchy
I’m 2 months into driving my very first car. (I know! I’ve kept that quiet.) And I think today was as good a day as any to misjudge my width, smack a parked car’s wing mirror, and get my own mirror dangling out like an eye popped out of its socket.
Read moreA weekend neither driving nor cooking
There was a vague threat of a road trip to Nuneaton (to collect Jackie and her new lodger) but it was only vague, and I’d found myself the best parking spot, so I wasn’t moving the car for nothing. Because living so near to Palmerston Road has its perks, this weekend was the Southsea Food […]
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The creepy YouTube videos weren’t the best night-time viewing idea
I shouldn’t have spent the last 2 hours watching creepy YouTube videos. Ghosts caught on CCTV. Unexplained spooky things. Creatures. Creepy, creepy creatures. Disappearances — POOF! It all seemed like a good idea at the time but now I’m done, my back’s a’tingle, my ears pricked — it doesn’t help that I keep hearing scratching. I assume […]
Read moreI know you actually saw me
I know you actually saw me, we caught each other’s gaze I even heard you as you passed me muttering out my name You looked a little sullen beneath that veneer so good You looked like life is rough and strife and for you, m’dear, it should But then maybe I’m mistaken, I didn’t see […]
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Unn penn-seythen yn Gernow *
* Likely a bad translation of: A weekend in Cornwall Otherwise known as: Road trip to Kayte’s!! Yes, this ray of sunshine has now driven all the way to Cornwall and back again.
Read moreToday with that machine and a new attitude
I strolled into work this morning and right up to that machine. I looked it square in the window and said, “We’re going to have a good day today.” I stepped to the left head and said, “You’ve only got to worry about this trolley and this side.” I stepped to the right head and said, […]
Read moreToday’s new and improved anger management technique was a success in that I didn’t get a migraine
I had to succumb to a broken spirit, but I didn’t get a migraine. WIN! (Kinda) I had to fall so far that I lost hope, fell into a routine — died inside. It’s a similar place to where you go when you’re a kid and your parents are having a blazing row. Withdraw. It’s just […]
Read moreA weekend sweltering
I don’t want to sound typically British and complain about the weather, but I would like a nice downpour to reset the air, and then we may continue with this impressive heatwave. It’s just relentless. On Saturday, having given myself a migraine on Friday, I didn’t get up ’til 11. Migraines proper wipe me out. […]
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I’ve given myself a migraine
There’s a name for people like me: TWAT!
Read moreNausea and heat don’t mix
Fuck me, I feel sick. I think it’s dehydration. I know not drinking enough water can set about a vertigo migraine but too much water can set up a vertigo migraine. I find myself in a very difficult position because the just right amount of water doesn’t exist. And I drink water. Lots of water. […]
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