Mental well-being

Bank holiday destruction

Today, I’ve really fancied getting out of my face. Like physically, out of it. And I’ve succeeded. Full self-destruction. But I do know, Tomorrow Tomos will regret this decision. He’ll like my face when he sees it (looser). He’ll think I’m great. He won’t appreciate the hangover. Certainly not with his job list and ear […]

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A journey of weekends

A weekend making up for last

Last weekend’s post (deleted) touched vaguely upon the thought that one’s worth seems determined by one’s last act.  Following on from that, there are limits to where understanding can lead before it becomes what is received. But since this weekend has ended much better than the week it closed, I’m not going to dwell on […]

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Mental well-being

Bad urgings — UPDATE

Originally posted 25/02 @ 06:27 Bad thoughts this morning. Urging ones. I’m going to ignore them. I’m going to head to the allotment once the sun has come up. I’m sure I said yesterday that today was going to be better not worse. But then again, most of what I say and feel is invalid […]

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Poems

Only me

It doesn’t matter No-one cares I’m all alone I’m all that’s there The things I do All I give Means naught to no-one Only me

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Poems

When I wish I wasn’t me

When I wish I wasn’t me When I wish I was someone else I find it hard to remember why I should like me as myself The mirror looks pathetic The mind is less than kind All is me is hard to see beneath that which I find So silently I ponder So I wish myself away I […]

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A journey of weekends

A weekend that ended better than it started

I went into the weekend with one of those heads that make you feel worthless and came out with a head worth its weight in gold. Even yesterday, with those bright lights like sunlight threatening to shine into my room, managed to keep my head worth every ounce. (The lights didn’t shine long — I […]

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Poems

Do see

It always comes back to me The way I do see the dayThe sun doesn’t shine the way I see itIt shines a different way

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A journey of weekends

A weekend in a funny headspace

Not particularly hilarious, not bad nor good — hardly self-negative. For me, it was a struggle to keep a positive mind when everywhere I turned was showing up negative.  Last week had been a difficult week for the majority of the people I hold dear.  Their difficulties, while their own, remain my concern because I love […]

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A journey of weekends

A weekend much needed

I think, with how life and its troubles are self-seen, that it is important to remind ourselves (when able) of the easy joys we can find without looking.  It’s a quest to snatch — if we don’t take, we don’t have. Misery is free. A tiny snippet of joy is so easily missed. What would […]

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Poems

Thought in a loop

I get a thought, something to say.I write it down, hip-hip-hooray!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I think,‘This thought of mine, better said like this…’ Press Enter twice — old down the page —And off I write, I start again!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I spy,‘It’s missing bits, this thought of mine…’ Expand, I […]

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Mental well-being

Does a breakdown require a doctor’s signature?

I was talking to someone recently who’d been sectioned and we were discussing mental health and well-being, and I brought up my breakdown. I briefly covered my experience and got told that I hadn’t had a breakdown, I would know it if I had, and that a real breakdown requires a doctor’s signature. An uncle […]

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Mental well-being

This side of the letter is better

Last night, I finished a letter that I don’t intend to send. It’s not a sending sort of letter. It’s the sort of letter that shows that I can articulate my side of the problem. I can get from start to finish coherently. I can keep on track and not get waylaid by additional details. (GO ME!) […]

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A journey of weekends

A weekend parachuting

Living an ear-popping 15 foot (rough guess) above ground level means that cars, specifically Myles’ cars, have a treacherous near-vertical descent to the road whenever they need to catch bad guys, escape dinosaurs, or go to the airport. Over the weeks, many a car has ended up in hospital because they’ve lost grip and plummeted […]

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A journey of weekends

3 years of weekends

When starting this little journey of weekends, I was clutching at something to write. I was looking to slow time, regain control, and remember my life. After the first year, I was surprised it had been better than I’d remembered. I was taken by my bias towards remembering negatively. I was pleased to be proved […]

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Poems

Unbreakable

You can tell me I’m worthless,And you can tell me I’m nothing —You can say want you want —I’m unbreakable.

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Poems

Decisions are easy

Decisions are easy when viewed in the dark, They’re so simple when shrouded by night; But when spotlit, it seems, so bright that they gleam, It’s impossible to decide what’s right.

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Poems

The isle of hindsight

This here isle called Hindsight dazzles — it gleams when it catches the light — it is especially splendid at morning and it is especially majestic at night. Pillared by a mountain impressive — so high clouds conceal its peak — Hindsight is snowcapped and heavenly, with thick trees and soft sands of silk. Surrounded by crystal-blue water, caressed by its […]

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