In the funeral home, Mental wellbeing, The Southern Co-operative

A look back — me, a former funeral co-ordinator, reminiscing…

For the last half decade I worked in funeral homes in and around Portsmouth (and one in Worthing), and I was employed by The Southern Co-operative Funeralcare to arrange funerals and to ensure their ‘successful’ delivery. Throughout this time I worked very closely with some fantastic people who have helped me deliver well over 500 funerals, and […]

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Mental wellbeing, The Southern Co-operative

My thank you to you

I feel a little glutton with all the kind words I’ve received upon my last post — the time taken to write your uplifting messages is not lost on me and I really appreciate your outstretched hands of support, they have each offered me a strength that wasn’t easy to grasp before. I was never on […]

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Blogging

Hey! How’re you doing?

Well, things here have just been crazy… Yesterday, after 3 weeks, 4 failed attempts, and 2 I just couldn’t be bothereds, I finally released my photos of Vegas on Facebook. It turned out only to be 161 of 793, or something. Anyway, it is now official – the grind returns. No more holiday – I’ll confess, […]

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In the funeral home

Death in the Funeral Home

How do those in the industry cope? Humour. Love it or loathe it – we laugh. Catch us colleagues alone and you’ll be hard pressed to not hear chuckles and titters – maybe even hearty guffaws – emanate from our chests, and not see tears of laughter freely fall. Okay, maybe we’re not all that full on […]

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In the funeral home

The people in your local Funeral Home

What they do… Contrary to the image of a Lurch – tall and lanky and unnerving, moving slowly around like a ghoul – and especially contrary to the image currently being portrayed by Eastenders, the people who work in your local Funeral Home are regular citizens, guys and gals with their hearts in the right places. […]

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In the funeral home

Where have they died?

Who to call & what to expect At Home • Contact their GP – they need to certify their death and give their permission to move their body. The GP may visit, they may give their permission to you down the phone, or charge an attending Nurse to give permission on their behalf, depending on how […]

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In the funeral home

An end of life discussion

The benefits outweigh the bad From our alarms in the morning to our duvets at night barely a moment goes by without death making an appearance in one form or another – from the fly killed by Raid to the meal on our plates, to our programmes that at night entertain – and we’re so […]

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In the funeral home

Choosing the right Funeral Home

A choice between the best… For some a particular Funeral Home will hold significance through an historic connection and their decision will be easy, but for others being faced with death is a new experience, so where should they go? The phone book and internet listings are full of them, so who do they choose? Shop around Ask family and […]

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In the funeral home

The day-to-day in a funeral home

Mundane in a Funeral Home… Death – surprise! – is the day-to-day mundane in a funeral home, but not as you might expect. Death buries us beneath paperwork – it’s all forms here and forms there – some more forms because you can never have enough forms to fill in – and sign here, initial there, a redo […]

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In memory

Death – friend or foe?

Why do I take seriously what I take seriously? I think Dorothy Zbornak (from The Golden Girls, played by Bea Arthur, may she rest in peace) posed this question perfectly back in 1985. During the episode The Heart Attack (1.10) Dorothy told the tale of an acquaintance who went to Paris, visited a restaurant, and […]

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In the funeral home

The Chapel of Rest

Should you visit? That is entirely up to you. Some feel compelled, some refuse, some feel like they should but can’t – you can only do what feels right to you. I personally feel that it is sometimes better to regret doing something than for not, but then that’s a dangerous game – I repeat, do […]

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Death

A parent should never bury a child

It is wrong, quite simply… Oh, if only the World revolved as it ought – if only there was no pain, no sorrow, no wars, no deaths before their time – but it doesn’t. The World revolves as it wants, and we as mere humans must accept it, and it isn’t easy. Life, in its […]

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In the funeral home

Grief – a frequently asked question

Am I grieving correctly? Yes – yes you are! It might not feel right but it is right – absolutely! – for grief befogs reality – stable emotions? Not likely – and grief is a very personal thing to endure. Should someone dare say that you’re grieving wrong, respond “OMG I never knew grief was ‘one style suits all’,” […]

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In the funeral home

Explaining death to children

The have a special job to do It was not but last night that I had the pleasure of watching some programme on BBC 1 about the police – I’ll admit that I wasn’t really watching it, so please don’t ask me for details, I was arguing with words at the time, but my attention […]

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