A journey of weekends, Mental wellbeing

A weekend after the bleak before

Last week, life was a featureless plain. It was me amongst this bland flatness. Mighty bleak. Mighty lonely, too, ’cause I’m a boring piece of shit. Sullen mope. Utter failure. Why even breathe? So fucking pointless. Frustration. And then on Thursday, while in work trying to coax these electrical boards out of the machine, I […]

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A journey of weekends, Vertigo migraines

A weekend recuperating

Thanks to Natwest’s helpfulness, I lost my shit Thursday afternoon. And I know exactly where I lost it, too, in their ears! And as I’ve grown accustomed, losing my shit this way finds me a vertigo migraine. Oh, the joys! I’d rather not lose my shit in the first place, but it can’t be helped […]

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Anger, Things happening

Natwest, the helpful bank: “Oh, you want your money back? That’s easy! We can help! All you got to do is jump through this hoop. And this one. And now this one. And this one, too. We can’t forget this one, it’s our favourite. And this one. And…”

Back near the end of September, I purchased myself an 11-foot paddle-board. What I received was a 2-foot ladybird. I don’t really know what it is, but it ain’t 11-foot long that’s for certain. I e-mailed the company and they said they’d get back to me but didn’t. I Facebooked them and got told that […]

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Poems & short stories

I want to say something

I want to say something Iā€™ve got so much on my mind But these thoughts donā€™t have the words to speak that do not sound like lies They sound like my delusions Like confusion with life itself Aloud they sound like I have fallen off my lucid shelf But I do not think that decent […]

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Anger

Firecracker temper ā€” Tomos, why so angry?

ANGER: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility There was a time when I kept my anger, disapproval, disgust private ā€” always accommodating, assuaging to all ā€” my thoughts my own,Ā never rocked the boat; wouldn’t like to, me no like confrontation. Apologetic, quick toĀ ā€” any blame? Mine. This is because I’ve never liked my […]

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Anger

Who I am these days now things are different

I am changed. It is an undeniable truthĀ ā€” totes altered, that’s me. You don’t lose close loved ones, get bullied by your manager in the funeral home you work, get forced toĀ defend your grief to your employers, have a breakdown, spiral down, and come out the other side without changing a little. Impossible. I could […]

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A journey of weekends, Mental wellbeing

A weekend with friends & anger

Saturday saw me put to work on Shaun’s allotment, digging up onions that had flowered and planting new ones. I didn’t work alone. I had the expert assistance of a little personĀ who gave reason to stop often for snacks,Ā hide and seek, and to lookĀ at trains. According to Shaun I’m a bad influence on his son. […]

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Anger

Anger

I hate anger. Anger actually gets me angry, which isn’t particularly helpful. I don’t achieve anything when I’m angry,Ā can’t achieve because I’m too busy lookingĀ sullen and being sarcasticĀ ā€” also, I flap when I’m angry. I flap when I’m flustered, but when I’m angry I’m flapping and marchingĀ back and forth, and ranting, and cussing, red faced […]

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A journey of weekends, Mental wellbeing

A weekend in the doghouse

I fell out with myself on SaturdayĀ ā€” someone let me down and from that, because I know they’re a let down, I gave myself a caningĀ for putting myself through it (again). Stern words, chewed outĀ ā€” I wouldn’t speak to anyone as I choose to speak to myself. As with most rants A begot D and […]

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