I don’t know how I voice all that I don’t know how to sayThe thoughts inside my head aren’t quite the words inside my brainAll is very ordered ’til I open trap to say… Almost nearly got it — I’d forgot they weren’t the same
Read moreFeeling mute — how my editing of words is a problem
I don’t articulate myself very well. When it comes to the little things — the weightless feelings — I get diarrhoea and can’t shut up, so I’ve got no issue here. Other people might have one, though, but I don’t. When it comes to the big things — the massive feelings — I get tongue-tied, […]
Read moreDown
Falling Already fallen Lying on the ground In mud? Not lucky enough for that Gotta sleep Who? Gotta try It’s too funny Too weak to sit up
Read moreI’m not that tired
I’m a little sleepy. Maybe I should go to bed. Maybe I shouldn’t. Who knows! Not me.
Read moreIt doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean much Nothing really does Having you stand so close Do I feel okay? We’re lost in moments Wondering who we are And it’s sort of nice Not meaning much Don’t you think?
Read moreI now see
It’s the little things I now notice All the things I didn’t see Couldn’t see Didn’t want to Why would I? I wouldn’t have been me
Read moreSeeing you
Starry eyes Sleepless nights A little time A little delight Looking through And looking out A humble song A little doubt Wondering if And hoping, too A little wish Here with you Do you notice? I sure do I see so much I’m seeing you
Read moreI don’t know why I bother searching
I don’t know why I bother I only lose my mind Every single time I search for the things I need to find I convince myself I’m certain I do know where they are! I tingle-bone ‘cause I do know they haven’t wandered far But they’re never where I put them They’re never where they’re […]
Read moreVictorious worsens
OMG, it’s now got some pulsing shit going and a screeching thing. THE CROWD IS GOING WILD! I think it’s Sunday’s headline act — Paul Weller? Not long now. Not long. And to think, just before this latest act started I’d written one whole sentence. A whole one! Officially no more blank page. I’m stuck again […]
Read moreVictorious in writer’s block
It’s bank holiday, it’s August, I’m in Portsmouth — it’s Victorious Festival! Yay! If I was at Victorious I’d be even more for it. But living so near and having it so loud has turned it annoying on day 3 when I would just like some quiet time to write. It’s been indistinct sound for […]
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Duvet buttonholes
Oh button’d holes of duvet sheet, Who start the night down by my feet, Why do you move when I’m asleep To ‘sure I wake to buttons greet?
Read moreI want to say something
I want to say something I’ve got so much on my mind But these thoughts don’t have the words to speak that do not sound like lies They sound like my delusions Like confusion with life itself Aloud they sound like I have fallen off my lucid shelf But I do not think that decent […]
Read moreI know you actually saw me
I know you actually saw me, we caught each other’s gaze I even heard you as you passed me muttering out my name You looked a little sullen beneath that veneer so good You looked like life is rough and strife and for you, m’dear, it should But then maybe I’m mistaken, I didn’t see […]
Read moreThis time I’ll be different
I like to think (I’m almost sure) That all I’ve done, I could’ve done more I could’ve completed (LOL what a laugh) Something I started, not barely done half
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If only I was different
If only I was different If I was someone else I know I’d be magnificent No bargain off the shelf I would surely be the envy Of everyone about And then I’d finally like me Love me without a doubt
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Who am I to me?
I am this to me
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The big 3-double-0 in blog posts!!!
This post right here is a personal triumph
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I feel like at age…
I should’ve been…
(Life is a journey, the years are keepsakes, and fortunately there’s no baggage limit.)
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WATCH OUT! A WITCH!
A weekend starting at the end
A thought occurred to me whilst scrubbing the toilet on Friday — backwards! There’s no law saying I must start at the beginning. I could start at the end if I wanted to! So I abandoned the cleaning, cranked up the laptop, and got writing. I surfaced to accompany Laura into town and when Jackie […]
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HTML, AAARGH!!! I’m ranting it out
Fucking poxy frustrating thing
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I need a break
I’m trying to write too many things at once. I’m trying to write my weekend post that’s spawning other ideas that I’m writing, and this story about some witches that I want to get done. And now I’m writing this post. I need a break. Everything’s turned so now now now when all I did […]
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Thank you to you & you!
Thank you
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The future is bright, the future is daunting
I am in receipt of my P45. It is official: I am unemployed. My future is my own making. What is that? Don’t know. I’ve got time. I don’t plan to die just yet, but then who does? Un-em-ployed. Should I sound the word aloud a hollow befalls my stomach. That’s reality, that is. Sinking […]
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Don’t go
I want you to stay
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Writing all behind myself
Third thing to achieve…
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A writer & tea — a solution to wasted effort
I need to get more clear glass mugs. I need to get rid of the porcelain ones and just stick to clear glass mugs. This is because I finish my cup of tea, carry on writing, and then I fancy a sip of tea and it’s empty! I only find out when I pick it […]
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Should’ve
… realised this before but I didn’t
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I’m mixing up my breath’s & breathe’s again! Here, a quick place to refer…
I easily get muddled between these two so I sound the words out — breath and breathe. For some reason I decided to pronounce the words wrong and so totally got muddled up. I had the ‘e’ in the middle much longer and the one on the end silent. I figured, English is strange, this is […]
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Faulty part
Something broke
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This blog is 2 today!!
Terrible toddler years a’coming! Just like a child this blog is growing and growing in confidence and spirit, and coming evermore lucid — I suppose it’s really I who is coming evermore lucid, evermore able to speak. This is because of you. You take time out to read what I’ve written and in doing this you are doing so much; your […]
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Lesson 11: Size matters — The power of length
Lesson 11 is all about size and how it’s used — sentence length not penis. Short, medium, long — I am to play with my sentence lengths while composing my response to this question: Tell us about the home where you lived when you were twelve. Which town, city, or country? Was it a house or […]
Read moreLesson 10: Happy (insert special occasion here)! — Eh?
Contrary to my assumption, lesson 10 isn’t ‘pick a date and celebrate!’ “Happy (insert special occasion here)!” — just screams food, doesn’t it? The brief says: Tell us about your favorite childhood meal — the one that was always a treat, that meant “celebration,” or that comforted you and has deep roots in your memory. […]
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Lesson 09: Point of view — The naked bear
Lesson 09 is this: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene. Today’s twist: write the scene from three different points of view: from the […]
Read moreLesson 08: Death to adverbs — How Fred died with 2 adverbs
Lesson 08 wants me to murder adverbs — no adverbs near this post. Since I get confused with these stupid words I’m using an adverb detector to help me. My excuse, Welsh is my first written language (my second spoken) so my English version is my own take — don’t ask me to speak or write Welsh, I wasn’t […]
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Lesson 07: Give & take — the writer & the researcher
Lesson 07 asks I contrast 2 things (people, objects, emotions, places, whatever) in dialogue. 2 opposite things, compared. A conversation. The writer & the researcher “You really should be helping me write this post,” the writer said. “I’m researching it,” the researcher replied. “No, you’ve got us on YouTube watching Top Ten Facts videos.” “Well we’re not now and […]
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Lesson 06: A character building experience — Who I am these days now things are different
Lesson 06 wanted me to study someone I’d met this year — it couldn’t be a list of features but should be a glimpse into their soul. Sort of. A vivid description. Well last night, after I’d lied to you all and said I couldn’t be bothered to write (well, learn blogging but that’s writing), I […]
Read moreLesson 06: In lieu of learning, an excuse — well, barely an excuse
I can’t be arsed. I’m sleepy, ratty, hungry, thirsty, and I just can’t be bothered. Not the attitude to have, I realise, but *shrug — what can you do? Nothing. Physically nothing. No point fighting it. Try again tomorrow.
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Lesson 05: Be brief — I was walking down the street
Lesson 05 of learning blogging wants me to be brief. So yep, tonights post (once it’s officially started) will be a short one. I am to imagine that I’ve stumbled upon a random letter, which I’ve read and found deeply affecting. I’m meant to want (like really want) to give this letter back to the person […]
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Lesson 04: Serially lost — ah shit, where’d I put it? My virginity
Lesson 04 of learning blogging asks me to write about loss, good or bad. I’ve lost someone or something forever, how does it feel? Hmm… And so, quite obviously: Ah shit, where’d I put it? My virginity It was a surprise. Oh sure it was nice, once I understood that that’s what you’re supposed to […]
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Lesson 03: Commit to a writing practice — so let’s talk music
Lesson 03 in learning blogging asks for my 3 most important songs and what they mean to me, along with my commitment to a writing practice. It mainly asks for my commitment. The song bit takes up 2 lines while the rest of the 2 pages is about dedicating 15 minutes every day to going for […]
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Lesson 02: A room with a view (or just a view) — my visit to the chapel of rest
Lesson 02 in learning blogging is setting, a place, a time that’s to be or been. I went with: My visit to the chapel of rest It was a sunshine and cloud day. I was stood outside the funeral home smoking a cigarette I didn’t want but needed. Sick nicotine. I crushed it out and […]
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Lesson 01: Unlock the mind — what’s the purpose of this blog?
I’ve decided that I don’t know what I’m doing — never known — so I’m learning. I’m discovering this blogging business. It’s been 2 years in June, definitely high time. Writing 101: Build a Blogging Habit That’s where I’m starting. Apparently the aim is to get me blogging every day — I don’t know how […]
Read moreTEST, the return
There is this certainty that had the TEST worked in my favour then I would’ve explained myself sooner — you all would’ve known straight away just how amazingly knowing I am on these technical things that require points to be proved. Unfortunately, the TEST didn’t work out in my favour, it made me a fool (more of one) — this amazing […]
Read moreDescribing grief — very hard
Grief is very hard describe. My main character in Kill The Killer (So I Did) is bereaved and his grief doesn’t flow onto the page easily. And so it shouldn’t. Just because Julian’s grief is fictional it doesn’t make it any less important, any less consuming, any less personal. It is just as real as […]
Read moreHave you ever, ever felt like this
Ditto
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Distract from distraction
It helps, when you write, if you (well) write. For some reason investigating the turbulent history of cat memes doesn’t write a story — I don’t know why, it’s just true. It’s also true that singing and dancing doesn’t write a story, no matter the tune — again, I’ve no idea why, it’s just the truth. […]
Read moreI’m a dictation master
Maths saying yo Bob’s doing what the use of Martha pass the worker say trees Siri please Siri Exactly what I dictated… If you can’t tell it’s a bit of Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall In Love). I was practicing dictating so I can get the words all typed up (sort of) as I’m writing […]
Read moreTEST
TEST (I’m proving a point — explain later)
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Perseverance for coherence
It helps, when you write, if you persevere until you’re clear. When what you write doesn’t make sense, when the very thought of words knots your stomach because you can’t get them from your head, don’t give up even if it feels like your best option. Keep going, keep writing, even if the blank page taunts you […]
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