Mmm mmm mmm!
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A weekend that made me wonder if my self-positive/negative views are squiff
In all reality, this weekend had one task = write a competency statement. Unfortunately, I can’t say the word ‘competency’ without trouble (I can spell it though), and there were so many pressing issues to solve that I only managed 400 words out of 5 pages. Being a home based worker requires an office – […]
Read moreA weekend that ended daylight savings
Before I gained an hour, Saturday was a lads’ day. It started at lunch with hardcore trains and transformer action, and it ended watching movies, drinking ovaltine. After I gained an hour, Sunday turned into a reading ‘The principles and practices of assessment’ day. I was meant to be doing the autumn clean (bit like […]
Read moreA weekend to clock up them miles
Having only clocked up 340 miles this week, I thought I’d double it to pop to my mothers. ‘Pop’ lol, it took 2 hours to get passed Southampton.
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A weekend to get hit by a wave
After a hectic second week as a home based funeral coach, which saw me in Cardiff, Bridgend, and Swindon, the weekend was split between a full Saturday and a fuck all Sunday. I met up with Myles on Saturday and we played with all of his new toys – transformers, more transformers (the kid has […]
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A weekend after a week home working
My new job as a funeral coach is predominately home-based, and that’s great for a number of reasons: Never late for work! No commute! I finish work, I’m home with an actual click of the fingers! Sorted! Life is grand! I can get used to this. But I hadn’t taken into account that I work […]
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A weekend that ended in Yeovil
Where? After a quick google, here: A decidedly random place to end a Sunday, but with the new job starting in Yeovil this morning, rather understandable. Saturday, I went to walk into town, got as far as the end of the road and had to turn back ’cause I’ve never been so wet, at least […]
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A weekend driving 700 miles to see Stephen Fry
I need to master this set-off time lark for when I set-off on long journeys. I always end up in rush-hour traffic on some carpark that’s supposed to be a motorway, and if I every tell you I enjoy it I’m a liar. Can’t stand it. I think, LET’S KEEP MOVING, PEOPLE! I set-off for […]
Read moreA weekend feeling meh in the sunshine
It started mildly with a mild migraine, that sensation that I’m about 30 minutes away all day. Very meh feeling, exaserbating other things that make me feel meh. Gloomy gus. I’m starting a new job soon YAY! Very different. More me. Finding the thought daunting. I’ve never assessed someone in a funeral home before. Arranged […]
Read moreA weekend for 424 miles
I drove to Wales on Friday and enjoyed a lovely detour over the heads of the valleys. Before the freedom of the countryside, I felt the bustle of humanity as we crawled along the M4 behind an abnormally wide load convoy being moved at rush hour. Great fun. I’ve told my mother that I’m never […]
Read moreA weekend of wheelbarrows, fishbowls, and an arsehole
Onions, picked Carrots, plucked. Potatoes, dug up. Rhubarb, tamed. The only things left on the allotment are courgettes, pumpkins, and nettles. For the latter, we’re at war. As of Friday evening, Shaun and I have reclaimed (most of) our paths, lined with carpet, and spent what felt like a decade laying wood chips. Wheelbarrow after […]
Read moreA long weekend refusing to drive, and so arriving late
August bank holiday means Victorious Festival, which means I can’t park the car if I move it. So Thursday night, I found a parking space and left the car there until this morning. I figured I could walk everywhere, it would be novel. On Friday afternoon I met up with Shaun, Myles, and the rest […]
Read moreA weekend of productive distraction
I’ve got a lot of shit done. Not my course work, but doorknobs changed, laptop trays fixed, I’ve even cleaned in crannies I hadn’t noticed before I’d donned my marigolds. I kept telling myself that I’ve got to do this so I’ve got no excuse. Well, it was just excuse after excuse, really.
Read moreA weekend of Autumn in Summer
I like Autumn. I like good old fashioned Welsh Autumns, wall-to-wall rain. Not these fancy new windy Autumns in Summer. I’m not a fan of wind (musses my hair). We had a lot of wind. Not much rain. Can’t see the point. On Saturday, I was going to head into town but got blown halfway […]
Read moreA weekend of cardiac wards & getting thrashed at cards
My mother has been waiting for her heart valve replacement operation like an inmate on death row. The fact she’s a nurse and knows this sort of business has added a few death sentences I’m sure. She kept telling me that she was going to die on the operating table, and I kept telling her […]
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A weekend stripping
If you’ve ever been to my home then you know about the pole and tassel set, but unlike my raunchy welcome, I spent Saturday stripping wallpaper. I had this steam woosher and a scraping thing, and it wasn’t the best job. It was awful. I had tit sweat and everything. On Sunday, I was planning […]
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A weekend for a nuptial booze-up
The actual booze-up only lasted a few hours but recovery remains ongoing. It was Jade and Dan’s wedding, and considering they’d made the effort to come over from Australia, I could walk the 100-or-so-yards from my home and get pissed. HAPPY MARRIAGE! I don’t remember much of the night. I remember meeting up with Shaun, […]
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A weekend without coursework
Ever since the dawn of time (at least it feels since then) I’ve been writing something called a ‘person-centred approach to death and dying progression assignment’ — happy stuff! Since I don’t like mentioning things I’ve not finished — I’M DONE!!! I got done last weekend and I’ve been spending all this time trying to […]
Read moreA weekend as a courgette pushing horticulturist
Okay, ‘horticulturist’ might be a bit strong, I finally got ’round to repotting my spider plant after 6 years and I gave it some fancy stones. Its new home is about 4 times the size of the original, and I want to see if its roots have noticed. I’m thinking that I probably should’ve teased […]
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A weekend of P!NK!!!!
I! LOVE! P!NK! I love her only a little less than Betty White, but there’s no-one I can love more than Betty. P!NK!!!! I saw her on her Funhouse Tour and she was bloody amazing! She barely had her feet on stage she was flinging herself around so vigorously. Throwing herself off something high, swinging […]
Read moreA weekend without rain
Thanks to all the rain I’ve been able to neglect my allotment duties, but after a fortnight of not seeing the place, I thought I should pay a visit. So I did, Saturday. In a word: Jungle. The potato plots, sheer madness. The courgettes have exploded. The onions are like towering stalks, sunflower high (not […]
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A weekend after a week at Center Parcs
I chilled. I probably chilled too much because now I ache. But I felt allowed to chill because I now know that I’m not as unfit as I’d suspected. Unhealthy, maybe. Unfit, no. I went to the Longleat Center Parcs with my father when I was like 9 and loved it. I remember the water […]
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A weekend halfway to 70
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!! So very old now. Ancient. I split my weekend between having ‘Happy Birthday’ sung at me and packing ready for Center Parcs.. It’s been a nicely chilled affair. Much needed before this week of action ahead…
Read moreA weekend partly cut short due to rain
Saturday began with a rush on chores — PANIC STATIONS! GET IT DONE! BUSY! BUSY! BUSY! I hate chores. After waiting for the washing machine to final finish, I was out the door, picking up MEAT, and heading to Shaun’s. As his father-in-law sanded-down and re-painted the front door (it was nice to see him […]
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A long weekend feeling that there’s more to life than this
My life, overall, is this: I wake up, usually feeling like shit, and I force down a small bowl of Weetos. The cuppa slides down like a dream. I hike to the car and wonder why people can’t drive at 7am, and get to work where I find another cuppa awaits me. I do work, […]
Read moreA weekend of returning wanders
Jackie was first, jetting in from the Mediterranean. Shaun and Myles came next, cruising home from the West Country. Then came Kayte, limping in after a 29-mile charity walk. And then finally me, I rocked up with my bat hand (still) having had some self-induced nausea that turned into a migraine. I’m getting the low-down […]
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A weekend in charge of the allotment
The two Chief Allotmenters, Shaun & Myles, are currently on their jollies leaving lowly old me in charge. There’s going to be dead onions or murdered marrows — something is bound to happen. Anyway, before I know the damage of what I’ve done, I weeded, watered, and planted courgettes. I find weeding is thankless, watering […]
Read moreA long weekend of homework
Other than a few drinks and the allotment to celebrate Shaun’s birthday, and popping to the shop, I’ve been at home doing homework all weekend. I’ve got to give a presentation on the culture of death in Mexico on Wesdnesday. I’ve been doing my best work last minute again.
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A weekend at a sleepover
Should someone turn to me all snooty-nosed to utter, “Aged 34, you’re a little old for a ‘sleepover’, aren’t you?” I’d agree thus: ‘Cause no-one’s ever too old for that. Saturday was meant to see Shaun, Myles, and me paddle-boarding at a local watersports-festival-come-bike-race, but Storm Hannah had other plans. Due to her high winds, […]
Read moreA long weekend for a tardy Easter
I don’t like a late Easter. I like Easter in late March / early April, when it should be, when I start thinking that I need a 4-day weekend for a bunny. As an apology for being late, I’m glad to see the weekend was warm. Friday cracked out the shorts, ate a Toby Carvery […]
Read moreA weekend 7 years after Shaun’s stag-do
Coincidentally, it’s the same weekend, 7 years ago, that I vowed to never arrange another stag do ever again. I remember the weeks and months leading up to Newquay started with me being a very gracious best man and ended with me giving stern words and ultimatums. (There’s always one who agrees to everything but […]
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A weekend after an absolute tankload of driving
It all started with the crazy idea I had of driving up to see Laura in Newcastle. From Portsmouth, 340-odd miles. This idea grew into also visiting my parents in Wales, since I haven’t seen them in a while. I had a week off work — it seemed like a brilliant idea! I perused the […]
Read moreA weekend mothering
Visiting the parents… It’s like the twilight zone – need a sedative.
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A weekend of work hard, play hard
Because, at long last, this year’s got Spring in its step, it is potato and onion planting time at the allotment! And Saturday’s job list was quick to say, ergo quick to do: Renew 2 plot-surrounds with Shaun’s fancy only-need-to-screw-together woodwork skills. Decant 3 compost bins over 6 plots. Plant onions in 4 plots, and […]
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A weekend of science
SAFETY FIRST!!! Goggles, ✔︎ Lab coat ✔︎ Latex free gloves ✘ (Got me latex ones.) May I continue? Test tubes ✔︎ Bunsen burner ✔︎ Scrap of paper for scientific notations ✔︎ What I’m science’ing ✔︎ IT’S EXPERIMENT TIME!! With the wind howling a gale outside, Jackie and I wanted to prove that a 17-storey high-rise […]
Read moreA weekend to Barth
‘Cause I’z filthy
Read moreA weekend briefly in Myles’ doghouse
For a 4-year-old, his doghouse is cold!
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A weekend of doing last weekend’s job list
(I hope from the nondescript whoever reclining on a big green tick you infer ‘SUCCESS!’…)
Read moreA weekend after the bleak before
Last week, life was a featureless plain. It was me amongst this bland flatness. Mighty bleak. Mighty lonely, too, ’cause I’m a boring piece of shit. Sullen mope. Utter failure. Why even breathe? So fucking pointless. Frustration. And then on Thursday, while in work trying to coax these electrical boards out of the machine, I […]
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A weekend that began at the allotment and ended minus a finger
I awoke Saturday with 10 fingers and ended the morning with 9.
Read moreA weekend dedicated to car checks and cider
Since beginning this driving lark nearly a year ago (yeah, a year! I know! 😲) I’ve been checking my oil, coolant, and screen wash levels roughly when I’ve remembered. On the yoozh, this is when the screen wash has gone and I’ve opened the bonnet, VIOLA! (I like to be smug when possible.) When it […]
Read moreA weekend of darkness
Migraine —
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A weekend of forgetful success
Originally, this weekend was to celebrate Betty White’s 97th birthday. I’m a super fan. Totally adore the old broad. I once flew all the way to LA to see her. Because she’s basically a distant relative, the Betty White marathon I had planned got forgot. I totally unremembered. I ended up having a Poirot marathon […]
Read moreA weekend of mild success
Usually, when I’m with Kayte we don’t achieve. We have every intention but one thing soon leads to excuses and we get nowhere. We have to book or be so committed our excuses suck to get places. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. This weekend, with Kayte’s visit, we booked cinema tickets. Having […]
Read moreA weekend, the first of 2019
It was fucking cold. When with heating, it was fucking hot. And it went too quick. It’s true, when it comes to temperature, I’m inclined to overreact. I’m not as fat as I used to be, and I no longer walk in and out of mortuaries all day long, and sometimes it’s the only thing […]
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A weekend before 2019
IT’S ALMOST THAT TIME!!! To get ready, the last weekend of the year went out in style! On Saturday was Christmas Day 2.0 with Myles & co. Mum slaved away in the kitchen while us boys built a rail empire. On Sunday, I found this old man I recognised in a pub and went out […]
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A weekend before Christmask
Should auld acquaintance be forgot — shit! That’s a week away! Um I’m too drunk for this! This weekend, I have Got myself to Cornwall. Discovered pink gin and lemonade. Tried to see the festive Mousehole harbour lights but discovered I can’t drive in the Cornwall pitch-black dark so managed 5-miles before hitting the gin. […]
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A weekend of a spectacle wearing Christmas cracker
It was the works do on Saturday, and nice to see everyone tarted up! All except Leigh. Leigh didn’t tart himself up. He might think that he did, but a Power Ranger costume isn’t fine dining attire. The fireworks were a nice touch, though. I liked them. The DJ cancelled on us so the bar […]
Read moreA weekend not in Wales
This is my 2nd weekend in Wales in 2 months that I’ve spent in England. Some might think that I don’t want to visit my parents. And it’s true, last month they didn’t want me. One had a TV being delivered, the other antibiotics. For this month, with it being so close to Christmas, they […]
Read moreA weekend of IT’S CHRISTMAS (so soon)!!!
It seems to be coming around quicker every year, Christmas. I suspect, having recently been enlightened on the conspiracy surrounding fluoride, that we’re being lied to. It won’t take much digging by a perfectly focused snooper to discover that the months are being shortened, if not erased entirely, by our governments and big corporations. WHY?! […]
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