Last weekend’s post (deleted) touched vaguely upon the thought that one’s worth seems determined by one’s last act. Following on from that, there are limits to where understanding can lead before it becomes what is received. But since this weekend has ended much better than the week it closed, I’m not going to dwell on […]
Read more
Bad urgings — UPDATE
Originally posted 25/02 @ 06:27 Bad thoughts this morning. Urging ones. I’m going to ignore them. I’m going to head to the allotment once the sun has come up. I’m sure I said yesterday that today was going to be better not worse. But then again, most of what I say and feel is invalid […]
Read moreA post in lieu of a weekend post that’s still being written
All last week I was a little backed up, but fortunately, with the weekend I had that saw me stay awake for 33/34 hours, I drank so much water that I was pissing every 15 minutes — by the end, my bladder was so used to being full it screamed ‘I NEED TO PEE’ even […]
Read moreOnly me
It doesn’t matter No-one cares I’m all alone I’m all that’s there The things I do All I give Means naught to no-one Only me
Read more
Gentleman’s Relish
I found a tub of Gentleman’s Relish on my way around Sainsbury’s today. The last time I had Gentleman’s Relish it didn’t come in a tub. It’s great on toast, delicious in fact — mildly fishy if used sparingly. Have I really been out of the game that long?
Read more
A weekend in pjs
Well, near enough — other than the 6 hours I spent in work, but I was back by 8am so it barely counts. Apparently, yesterday was valentines day — there’s no ‘apparently’ about it. It was. Completely forgot. Couldn’t give a shit. I heard on Capital a few days ago that people with my mindset […]
Read more
A weekend of almost…
I tried my hand at making satay sauce and made a condiment. I put up a curtain pole and it’s only a bit crooked. I measured for curtains and should’ve done it with the pole up. But then it didn’t snow enough to make a snowman, so I drew a picture instead. Mine’s a bit […]
Read more
A weekend searching for the kid’s marbles
Our problems began when the kid decided to count his marbles. He cracked open his head, scooped them all out, and lost a half-dozen when they rolled around the table. A few dozen more were lost during a game of marbles. Another handful scattered while testing out a Hot Wheels track. A few vanished due […]
Read more
A weekend with blinds
They arrived!!! A little battered and bruised, mind… But the blind people are sorting the damage and won’t be delivering them again through XPD unless they want them returned via their rectum. Alongside no longer having sheets as curtains, my spying game has upped a million-fold. In other news, I got repeatedly stung on the […]
Read moreWhen I wish I wasn’t me
When I wish I wasn’t me When I wish I was someone else I find it hard to remember why I should like me as myself The mirror looks pathetic The mind is less than kind All is me is hard to see beneath that which I find So silently I ponder So I wish myself away I […]
Read moreA delayed weekend of highlights
First off, my new habit has clearly not taken hold yet. Meant to be posting these on a Monday, but Monday’s seem to fail because I’m asleep when I used to post. So the big plan is to change this post to a Sunday, but it’s hard to remember to do things 24 hours earlier […]
Read moreA weekend that ended better than it started
I went into the weekend with one of those heads that make you feel worthless and came out with a head worth its weight in gold. Even yesterday, with those bright lights like sunlight threatening to shine into my room, managed to keep my head worth every ounce. (The lights didn’t shine long — I […]
Read moreDo see
It always comes back to me The way I do see the dayThe sun doesn’t shine the way I see itIt shines a different way
Read moreA belated weekend to rid this home of 2020
For the great big 00:00, I said Happy New Year to Shaun and went to bed, as is the covid way. Pretty much it. Begs the question why I couldn’t write this post yesterday… Not exactly ground breaking.
Read moreA long weekend for a covid Christmas
Because we were strongly promised (maybe) 5 days off covid restrictions, which made absolutely no sense until I realised that covid has been working 24/7 for months, globally, so most likely had put in a holiday request, which had been approved, I set about making plans. Option A was a 3 to 4 night stay […]
Read moreA weekend given 8 hours notice for lockdown with a fancy new name
Other than being unable to get Myles’ hair cut on Sunday, and subsequently getting a humph that required a reminder that hairdressers aren’t generally open during the dead of night, and they’re even less likely to be open when it is suddenly illegal, I can’t say this household has noticed much difference with the start […]
Read more
A weekend adjusting to a new sleep routine
Sunday was a 4am start, which, surprisingly, was doable. Monday was a 2am start, which, other than lying in bed staring at the clock at 0130, was surprisingly doable. Bed time, though, is 7pm. The only issue is, I’m so tired, I hardly know who I am. I’m a little vague on the days. This […]
Read moreA weekend in a funny headspace
Not particularly hilarious, not bad nor good — hardly self-negative. For me, it was a struggle to keep a positive mind when everywhere I turned was showing up negative. Last week had been a difficult week for the majority of the people I hold dear. Their difficulties, while their own, remain my concern because I love […]
Read moreA weekend, the first not self-isolating
FREEDOM!!! Oh, it’s been bliss. It’s been the most beautiful weekend ever. I enjoyed Saturday — finally got the book mountain on a bookcase! I enjoyed Sunday — the day to myself was like the good old days when I used to potter around solo… Of the difficulties this weekend, no Myles = the biggest. […]
Read moreA weekend self-isolating 2
I went into the weekend without the ability to taste or smell and come out of it sniffing aromas and guessing what they are. Fun times. Almost as fun as looking out of the window at the builders queuing up to buy their sandwiches. Almost, not quite.
Read moreDay I don’t know +2 of self-isolating
I CAN VAGUELY TASTE MINT!!!! But a large southern comfort and lemonade tastes like tonic water. Not the biggest fan of tonic water. Tonic water tastes like someone’s washed their feet in it. Proper manky feet, too. Rather off-putting.
Read moreDay I don’t know + 1 of self-isolation — Uncle Oskar
While my migraine has broken and I woke up full of beans (ended up weeding and sweeping out my alleyway), across the country someways, a real proper, decent, caring, loving man I know — having fought so hard against so much — died in intensive care. The kidney failure couldn’t get him, and while the […]
Read moreDay I don’t know of self-isolation
The results are in…
Read moreA weekend self-isolating
B O R I N G Thankfully, I have now managed to get into the swing of this covid imprisonment — I’m no longer screaming up the walls. The most ‘can do’ instilling thing to happen this weekend was a call from Myles!! Best call ever! More, please!
Read moreDay 6 of self-isolation
Last night, I wrote: Fed-up. A lot going on. No Myles. No job. Ever so slight money worries. I’m worried for the people I love. I miss one desperately. I’ve been missing the point entirely. Been trying my best and not really succeeding. Probably not trying hard enough. Been listening, but not hearing. See? Nasty […]
Read moreDay 5 of self-isolating — test results are in!!
Drumroll, please…
Read moreDay 4 of self-isolation
Laura has sent emergency supplies (Southern Comfort). Opened at 12:01. Much appreciated. At least now the hallucinations have a cause.
Read moreDay 3 of self-isolation
I’m about to eat the wallpaper. Thing is, we haven’t got any wallpaper. I’m already hallucinating. Fuck. Set-in a lot quicker this time…
Read moreA weekend before a covid test
Due to the selfless dedication of one of Shaun’s colleagues who went into work with Covid-19 symptoms, last week ended on a high with jobs going out on time. For this week, their selflessness has given everyone the chance of a few days off. Shaun woke up on Saturday complaining of being hot. Sunday became […]
Read more
At night, what sounds came up through the floorboards when you were a child?
For me, the peace before sleep would sound like a loud conversation, muffled — the occasional thud of the kitchen table with a rattle of uncleared plates — getting louder, falling soft, like a rhythm. A dog might bark. I could never catch what was being said. Back and forth — two distinct voices. One […]
Read more
A weekend for a covid Halloween
Popcorn, sweets, and movies…
Read more
‘Fairness’ — what is it? What does it mean?
The dictionary defines it as: Fairness (noun): impartial and just treatment or behaviour without favouritism or discrimination.
Read moreA weekend much needed
I think, with how life and its troubles are self-seen, that it is important to remind ourselves (when able) of the easy joys we can find without looking. It’s a quest to snatch — if we don’t take, we don’t have. Misery is free. A tiny snippet of joy is so easily missed. What would […]
Read more
The need to achieve, a success
Today, I needed to achieve something a little more substantial than applying for jobs that I’m not going to get. In this aim, I was highly successful. Before: After: It took me an hour to reclaim the patio. The knotweed was a weaved mat — I’m dreading the rest of the allotment. I’ve already warned […]
Read moreA weekend chilled
After the full-on party action of last weekend, Myles read my mind and declared this weekend a chilled affair. Well, as chilled as movies, hot wheel tracks, and sugar-rushes allow.
Read moreA weekend P-A-R-T-Y-ing
It was Myles’ 6th birthday this weekend. This meant one thing… And party us lads did! Friday was all about the decorating. 150 balloons tied down in lovely places and piled into the sheet tacked to the ceiling ready for the balloon drop. Next it was bunting, about a mile of the stuff — even […]
Read more
A weekend under a spot light
The restaurant underneath is opening in a few weeks as a Thai Tapas & Sushi place. I know! Sounds exciting! To prepare for their opening night, they’ve turned the lights on to light up their sign. To me, too. Except, they don’t light up the sign. Apparently, this was the best place to put them. […]
Read more
Goodbye Bertie!!
The nice man from Car Components in Gosport cradled poor Bertie as he sobbed knowingly, this is the time I die… While ‘feeling emotional’ is a little excessive toward a car, there was a moment for thought while watching Bertie get towed to the carpark in the sky. All those near-misses — its scars as […]
Read more
A weekend, the last with Bertie
The custom with a pet before having it put down is to spend its last few days before death doing fun things, having treats, and just generally enjoying the delights of life. This weekend, rail bridge repair work saw the A27 closed and my surrounding roads acquiring 30 min+ queues. So in the face of […]
Read more
A weekend prehistoric
It’s taken us 3 attempts and hours of walking, but at long last we’ve found the prehistoric fern that’s been our motivation to go to Hundred Acre Wood! It’s a crazy looking fern. We turned ’round to the kid and said that there fern’s great-great-great-so-many-greats-grandparents got eaten by a Stegosaurus! In response, the kid complained […]
Read moreA weekend realising that a solution is needed
In my old flat, I’d open the door, take a step in, and hang my keys on the hook in front of me. I’d turn left, take a step, kick off my shoes, and drop my wallet in the box on the shoe rack. 6 more steps saw me in my living room. Another 6, […]
Read moreA weekend that required an extra day due to an administrational hiccup
It was technically this morning when I got to settling down to writing this weekend post, so I was running late, and figured I may as well wait until the other side of the day. The reason for my delay was that I was building my desk. In all truth, the desk was built, but […]
Read more
A long weekend that ended with a forgotten weekend post
It all started bank holiday-esk enough with a cheery jaunt across national lines. England to Wales. Yep, parent visiting. (Need another bottle!) Things rolled as they tend to roll in the valleys, downhill and back up again (if there’s enough oomph). Fortunately, we ended up where we started, if not a little higher up the […]
Read moreA weekend hunting for my shaver
In the old flat, my shaver/trimmer/whatever — chin hair snipper — lived in a skull by the TV. Easy to find. Never need move, of course, as long as it wasn’t in use. A week last Thursday, I put said shaver in my brown carry-all, along with a few choice things that I wished to […]
Read moreA weekend (the first) in my new home
My bed has changed walls almost as many nights as I’ve slept in this flat. I’m loving how the ground floor (a restaurant) is terraced but our abode is detached in nature, very free of neighbourly disturbance. There’s sufficient space between our bedrooms that we can independently listen to music and bother no-one. By my […]
Read moreMy last night in this flat
I’ve had my last meal. I’ve taken my last stroll around the headland. Seen the lights twinkle. Heard the sea slosh. I’m going to watch my last movie. Have my last shower. Climb the stairs and struggle to sleep for the last time in this heat, in this flat. Tomorrow, like an obedient puppy following […]
Read moreA weekend too hot
I’m not built for 30C+. I’m definitely not built for 30C+ and moving. Fortunately, us boys took time out of melting for paddle boarding. Those few cool hours were the best all weekend.
Read moreA weekend with two homes
We got the keys on Friday! Sitting up in bed, here I come!!! Unfortunately, all my shit is in the wrong flat. After today, there’s two car loads moved and a very sleepy Tomos. A point for future note: Don’t move in the summer.
Read moreThought in a loop
I get a thought, something to say.I write it down, hip-hip-hooray!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I think,‘This thought of mine, better said like this…’ Press Enter twice — old down the page —And off I write, I start again!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I spy,‘It’s missing bits, this thought of mine…’ Expand, I […]
Read moreA weekend that started in full panic mode
Thursday was a busy day. Interview. See Myles. Drive to Wales. It all went well until I got Shaun to change my break bulb. I didn’t turn the engine fully off. Changing the bulb killed the battery. Click-click-click. This unexpected turn of events completely threw my mind mode into blind panic. I’m not very useful […]
Read more