In my old flat, I’d open the door, take a step in, and hang my keys on the hook in front of me. I’d turn left, take a step, kick off my shoes, and drop my wallet in the box on the shoe rack. 6 more steps saw me in my living room. Another 6, […]
Read moreA weekend that required an extra day due to an administrational hiccup
It was technically this morning when I got to settling down to writing this weekend post, so I was running late, and figured I may as well wait until the other side of the day. The reason for my delay was that I was building my desk. In all truth, the desk was built, but […]
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A long weekend that ended with a forgotten weekend post
It all started bank holiday-esk enough with a cheery jaunt across national lines. England to Wales. Yep, parent visiting. (Need another bottle!) Things rolled as they tend to roll in the valleys, downhill and back up again (if there’s enough oomph). Fortunately, we ended up where we started, if not a little higher up the […]
Read moreA weekend hunting for my shaver
In the old flat, my shaver/trimmer/whatever — chin hair snipper — lived in a skull by the TV. Easy to find. Never need move, of course, as long as it wasn’t in use. A week last Thursday, I put said shaver in my brown carry-all, along with a few choice things that I wished to […]
Read moreA weekend (the first) in my new home
My bed has changed walls almost as many nights as I’ve slept in this flat. I’m loving how the ground floor (a restaurant) is terraced but our abode is detached in nature, very free of neighbourly disturbance. There’s sufficient space between our bedrooms that we can independently listen to music and bother no-one. By my […]
Read moreMy last night in this flat
I’ve had my last meal. I’ve taken my last stroll around the headland. Seen the lights twinkle. Heard the sea slosh. I’m going to watch my last movie. Have my last shower. Climb the stairs and struggle to sleep for the last time in this heat, in this flat. Tomorrow, like an obedient puppy following […]
Read moreA weekend too hot
I’m not built for 30C+. I’m definitely not built for 30C+ and moving. Fortunately, us boys took time out of melting for paddle boarding. Those few cool hours were the best all weekend.
Read moreA weekend with two homes
We got the keys on Friday! Sitting up in bed, here I come!!! Unfortunately, all my shit is in the wrong flat. After today, there’s two car loads moved and a very sleepy Tomos. A point for future note: Don’t move in the summer.
Read moreThought in a loop
I get a thought, something to say.I write it down, hip-hip-hooray!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I think,‘This thought of mine, better said like this…’ Press Enter twice — old down the page —And off I write, I start again!I read it back and ‘Ooo,’ I spy,‘It’s missing bits, this thought of mine…’ Expand, I […]
Read moreA weekend that started in full panic mode
Thursday was a busy day. Interview. See Myles. Drive to Wales. It all went well until I got Shaun to change my break bulb. I didn’t turn the engine fully off. Changing the bulb killed the battery. Click-click-click. This unexpected turn of events completely threw my mind mode into blind panic. I’m not very useful […]
Read moreA weekend flat hunting
The cupboard I call a flat is barely big enough for one, let alone two, especially not two and a half. What is needed is space, enough for two and a half men We need kitchen counters and cupboards. We need a living room that’s more than three steps from the centre of the kitchen. […]
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I don’t mean to be a self-horn tooter, but…
(It’s very apt.)
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A weekend putting finger to keyboard
For a change of pace, I have a letter to write! I love a good deep and meaningful, especially when all it brings about is circles. Around and around — is there an actual point? Because I couldn’t answer this, I spent much of the weekend watching movies.
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Another defrosted freezer, another pissed off cook
For the second time in a month, twat features here – Has turned the freezer off, not noticed, and defrosted its entire contents. It’s all mush. The cook is not pleased. There was a homemade doner longing to be eaten. Myles’ prickly palate had reasons to shout “Yum!” There was a lonesome Magnum that only […]
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A weekend of ‘moderate breezes’ (trees head-butting the pavement)
We had all that lovely weather when we couldn’t go to a beer garden, and now beer gardens are open, it’s Autumn in July! I think a strongly worded letter of complaint needs to be written to the arsehole who got the seasons muddled. We’re cool, Abe’s got it sorted. With the sun shining brightly […]
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Does a breakdown require a doctor’s signature?
I was talking to someone recently who’d been sectioned and we were discussing mental health and well-being, and I brought up my breakdown. I briefly covered my experience and got told that I hadn’t had a breakdown, I would know it if I had, and that a real breakdown requires a doctor’s signature. An uncle […]
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Advice and lip-service — I’m already sweet enough
On the day my funeral assessing role became surplus to requirements and I got the boot, I received advice that was echoed by two people in a position to know. Don’t give up, you’re born to be an assessor. Go for social care assessor roles, your skillset suits it well. Need anything, come to me. […]
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The care home/funeral home assessor paradox
If you’ve worked in a care home, you can go on to become a funeral assessor (if the fancy takes you). You don’t need funeral home experience. The care home world and the funeral home world cross-over and are totally related. If you’ve worked in a funeral home, you can’t go on to become a […]
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A weekend seeing puddle, thinking ‘jump’
Wellies on ✔︎ Coats on ✔︎ It’s raining buckets outside ✔︎ There are lots of big muddy puddles to jump in ✔︎ Our lads trip to 100 acre woods got filthy fast — mother wasn’t too pleased when we got back muddy.
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A weekend a foot shorter than the tallest nettle
This year, a lot due to Shaun’s shoulder, this covid way of life, and a little because of I-can’t-be-arsed-itus, the allotment has had the attention it’s been used to. Nothing’s been planted. We’ve hardly been to see it. With restrictions lifting, his shoulder mended, and motivation restored, we went to the allotment! And my gosh, […]
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A weekend with the foxes in the forest
To help Myles with his home-school work (and keep his teachers off his back) we went on a home-school trip to Foxes Forest. We had to find a bird. Find a tree. Spot some grass and find a breeze. And other things, like photographing flowers and leaves. We found lots of trees and birds, and […]
Read moreA weekend for my half-birthday *
* This half-birthday has taken 12 months! Because 2020 doesn’t really count, I’ve decided that I wasn’t 36 this weekend, I was 35½. I’m not going to be 36 until next June when apparently I’m meant to 37! Shit happens. And the best thing is, my maths works for everyone!
Read moreA weekend before the big 3-6
This time next week, I’ll be halfway to 72. With lockdown still happening, although ever so slightly eased, this week has seen a dream for Greek meatballs achieved. Homemade. It turns out, this cooking from scratch lark, is doable. Still can’t cook an egg, though.
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A long weekend trying to pick my way through the crowds for my lockdown constitutionals
The sheer volume of people on the common and seafront has been ridiculous. Ridiculous doesn’t even cover the sheer volume of people out and about. Social distancing? Hardly. Can’t do it. Too many people. Unfortunately, in addition, the council has closed roads and car parks to discourage these visitors, but sun-seekers need to park their […]
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A weekend fast & furious
The Fast and the Furious 2 Fast 2 Furious The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Fast & Furious Fast Five Fast & Furious 6 Furious 7 Had we not been distracted by 2 and a half men, we might’ve been able to watch the 8th film. The Fate of the Furious But still, a […]
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A weekend ticklish
I don’t know whether it’s because my moobs are more sensitive because it’s that time of the month, or because I’m just generally more ticklish, but every shower this weekend has been a rib-tickler.
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A weekend for Shaun’s lockdown birthday
Technically, a lock-in…
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Trump! Ah shit!
Apparently, and this is cracking me up, I was very gassy the night before last and kept farting myself awake like a dog — trump, act all startled, fall back to sleep!
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A weekend that kept to its scheduled number of days
It’s Monday! I know it’s Monday! I’ve known it’s Monday all day! Yay! I even knew yesterday was Sunday! The day before was Saturday! I’m getting proper good with this changing named-days lark. I’ve been trying to remember the last time I went outside. I think it was Friday. I didn’t go out Saturday because […]
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In lieu of care (revisited)
A look back on what has been.
Read moreA weekend that gained a day because I lost one
The truth is, I’ve not known what day it is for ages. I have a running idea, but it’s often wrong. Most usually wrong. It’s Tuesday, right?
Read moreA long weekend celebrating 2 years of driving by not driving unessentially
It was Easter Sunday 2 years ago when I passed my driving test. Of course, it wasn’t Easter Sunday back then. It wasn’t a Sunday at all. It was a Thursday. And in those days, one could do things like take driving tests. It was a different time, full of the outdoors and high-fives. Because […]
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A weekend looking out at the sunshine
Despite the lure of a glorious blue sky and what looked like an element of warmth in the sunshine, this flathold stayed in all weekend. Watching TV. So many movies. Lie-ins. A very sedentary life. It’s bloody typical, though — all through that cold and drear I’ve longed for warmth, only for it to arrive […]
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March 31st — half-decade
This date again.
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A weekend locked-down
House-bound, so free to do an undone childhood task that brings back memories of a poltergeist-type-demon that ate all the children in the school next to mine.
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Lockdown brings peace, it’s bliss
It’s quiet outside. There are no people walking by and no cars using the street as a shortcut. The students next-door have stopped slamming their doors and the builders over the road have stopped cussing and dropping things. I haven’t heard a dog bark in days. The only life I see are two cats arguing. […]
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A weekend pre-lockdown
As predicted, Myles exploded upon discovering I had Mario Kart on the Wii. He has very strict ‘follow me’ and ‘we need to drive on the sand/grass’ rules, which put hitches in winning races. I’ve tweaked a few settings, made the driving a lot easier, and after this lockdown will be getting the kid competitive. […]
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Mario Kart, the revival
I’ve loved Mario Kart since the N64. I’m proper good at it. My character is Yoshi. A few (many) years ago, I upgraded to Mario Kart Wii. I thrashed everyone on it. It’s one of the only things that gets me super competitive. People eventually stopped wanting to play with me and Mario Kart got […]
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A weekend with a new washing machine
It’s got a delayed start of up to 24 hours. It’s quickest wash is 14 minutes. You can ask it to wash something and go straight on to dry, and it will dry. This new machine shoots the old jumping bean in the face. It’s quickest wash was a speedy 90 minutes. It’s dry setting […]
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Yeah, so where the hell did the washing machine go?
So, today I had a new washing machine delivered. Been living here ten years with old jumping bean, but it’s time for a change. I fancied a washing machine that wouldn’t chase me out of the room. It took me a while to unplumb the thing, mainly because everything pissed out water, but once I’d […]
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ToO hUnGrY fOr PrOpEr LeTtEr SiZeS
Late breakfast + skipped lunch = Got nought in the cupboard. Got nought in the fridge. Eaten the wallpaper. Eaten the carpet. Currently chewing on the sofa. But thankfully, Shaun has FINALLY got in! He’s got food! Got to wait for the oven. Can smell food. Got to be patient. FEED ME!
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A weekend old school road tripping, new style
Once upon a time, the little chic drove the rabbit around on search of elixirs. This time around, the little chic with its broken wing got chauffeured.
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Job hunting be like…
… head-butting a wall.
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SPRING IS HERE!!
It’s allotment prepping time!!!
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A weekend ticking an item off Myles’ bucket list
It is a legal requirement (I think) for best friends to help each other tick items off the bucket list. Last weekend, during a randomly spawned conversation about washing cars, I discovered that Myles has never been to a machine car wash, and this was something on his long list of things to try. So […]
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Life is a quest for balance
Every day, it’s a challenge. It turns meadows into battlefields, makes rainbows in mists of blood. As much as it takes, it gives — it leaves it to us to find our balance.
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A day about the bird shit
Last night, I had to park under a tree.
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A weekend that KO’d the kid
Myles came ’round Saturday after his half term on holiday, fresh from visiting friends. From what I’ve been told, and he doesn’t remember much, there was a lot of running, screaming, and bouncing off walls, driving parents nuts. Still full of beans, he arrived after a mile and a half scoot from the train station, […]
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This side of the letter is better
Last night, I finished a letter that I don’t intend to send. It’s not a sending sort of letter. It’s the sort of letter that shows that I can articulate my side of the problem. I can get from start to finish coherently. I can keep on track and not get waylaid by additional details. (GO ME!) […]
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The Strand, Portsmouth
Long lost and missed. Many a double vodka lime (cordial) washed down by a Fosters (🤢yuck). Many a card game stitched up by Shaun, mocked by the frogs on the Budweiser mural. Many a pre-shift drink before clocking into the nightclub. Many a random stint behind the bar. Second home. Now something called a ‘PSI […]
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