On the day my funeral assessing role became surplus to requirements and I got the boot, I received advice that was echoed by two people in a position to know. Don’t give up, you’re born to be an assessor. Go for social care assessor roles, your skillset suits it well. Need anything, come to me. […]
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If you’ve worked in a care home, you can go on to become a funeral assessor (if the fancy takes you). You don’t need funeral home experience. The care home world and the funeral home world cross-over and are totally related. If you’ve worked in a funeral home, you can’t go on to become a […]
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Wellies on ✔︎ Coats on ✔︎ It’s raining buckets outside ✔︎ There are lots of big muddy puddles to jump in ✔︎ Our lads trip to 100 acre woods got filthy fast — mother wasn’t too pleased when we got back muddy.
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This year, a lot due to Shaun’s shoulder, this covid way of life, and a little because of I-can’t-be-arsed-itus, the allotment has had the attention it’s been used to. Nothing’s been planted. We’ve hardly been to see it. With restrictions lifting, his shoulder mended, and motivation restored, we went to the allotment! And my gosh, […]
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To help Myles with his home-school work (and keep his teachers off his back) we went on a home-school trip to Foxes Forest. We had to find a bird. Find a tree. Spot some grass and find a breeze. And other things, like photographing flowers and leaves. We found lots of trees and birds, and […]
Read more* This half-birthday has taken 12 months! Because 2020 doesn’t really count, I’ve decided that I wasn’t 36 this weekend, I was 35½. I’m not going to be 36 until next June when apparently I’m meant to 37! Shit happens. And the best thing is, my maths works for everyone!
Read moreThis time next week, I’ll be halfway to 72. With lockdown still happening, although ever so slightly eased, this week has seen a dream for Greek meatballs achieved. Homemade. It turns out, this cooking from scratch lark, is doable. Still can’t cook an egg, though.
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The sheer volume of people on the common and seafront has been ridiculous. Ridiculous doesn’t even cover the sheer volume of people out and about. Social distancing? Hardly. Can’t do it. Too many people. Unfortunately, in addition, the council has closed roads and car parks to discourage these visitors, but sun-seekers need to park their […]
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The Fast and the Furious 2 Fast 2 Furious The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Fast & Furious Fast Five Fast & Furious 6 Furious 7 Had we not been distracted by 2 and a half men, we might’ve been able to watch the 8th film. The Fate of the Furious But still, a […]
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I don’t know whether it’s because my moobs are more sensitive because it’s that time of the month, or because I’m just generally more ticklish, but every shower this weekend has been a rib-tickler.
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Technically, a lock-in…
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Apparently, and this is cracking me up, I was very gassy the night before last and kept farting myself awake like a dog — trump, act all startled, fall back to sleep!
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It’s Monday! I know it’s Monday! I’ve known it’s Monday all day! Yay! I even knew yesterday was Sunday! The day before was Saturday! I’m getting proper good with this changing named-days lark. I’ve been trying to remember the last time I went outside. I think it was Friday. I didn’t go out Saturday because […]
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A look back on what has been.
Read moreThe truth is, I’ve not known what day it is for ages. I have a running idea, but it’s often wrong. Most usually wrong. It’s Tuesday, right?
Read moreIt was Easter Sunday 2 years ago when I passed my driving test. Of course, it wasn’t Easter Sunday back then. It wasn’t a Sunday at all. It was a Thursday. And in those days, one could do things like take driving tests. It was a different time, full of the outdoors and high-fives. Because […]
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Despite the lure of a glorious blue sky and what looked like an element of warmth in the sunshine, this flathold stayed in all weekend. Watching TV. So many movies. Lie-ins. A very sedentary life. It’s bloody typical, though — all through that cold and drear I’ve longed for warmth, only for it to arrive […]
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This date again.
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House-bound, so free to do an undone childhood task that brings back memories of a poltergeist-type-demon that ate all the children in the school next to mine.
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It’s quiet outside. There are no people walking by and no cars using the street as a shortcut. The students next-door have stopped slamming their doors and the builders over the road have stopped cussing and dropping things. I haven’t heard a dog bark in days. The only life I see are two cats arguing. […]
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As predicted, Myles exploded upon discovering I had Mario Kart on the Wii. He has very strict ‘follow me’ and ‘we need to drive on the sand/grass’ rules, which put hitches in winning races. I’ve tweaked a few settings, made the driving a lot easier, and after this lockdown will be getting the kid competitive. […]
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I’ve loved Mario Kart since the N64. I’m proper good at it. My character is Yoshi. A few (many) years ago, I upgraded to Mario Kart Wii. I thrashed everyone on it. It’s one of the only things that gets me super competitive. People eventually stopped wanting to play with me and Mario Kart got […]
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It’s got a delayed start of up to 24 hours. It’s quickest wash is 14 minutes. You can ask it to wash something and go straight on to dry, and it will dry. This new machine shoots the old jumping bean in the face. It’s quickest wash was a speedy 90 minutes. It’s dry setting […]
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So, today I had a new washing machine delivered. Been living here ten years with old jumping bean, but it’s time for a change. I fancied a washing machine that wouldn’t chase me out of the room. It took me a while to unplumb the thing, mainly because everything pissed out water, but once I’d […]
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Late breakfast + skipped lunch = Got nought in the cupboard. Got nought in the fridge. Eaten the wallpaper. Eaten the carpet. Currently chewing on the sofa. But thankfully, Shaun has FINALLY got in! He’s got food! Got to wait for the oven. Can smell food. Got to be patient. FEED ME!
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Once upon a time, the little chic drove the rabbit around on search of elixirs. This time around, the little chic with its broken wing got chauffeured.
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… head-butting a wall.
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It’s allotment prepping time!!!
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It is a legal requirement (I think) for best friends to help each other tick items off the bucket list. Last weekend, during a randomly spawned conversation about washing cars, I discovered that Myles has never been to a machine car wash, and this was something on his long list of things to try. So […]
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Every day, it’s a challenge. It turns meadows into battlefields, makes rainbows in mists of blood. As much as it takes, it gives — it leaves it to us to find our balance.
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Last night, I had to park under a tree.
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Myles came ’round Saturday after his half term on holiday, fresh from visiting friends. From what I’ve been told, and he doesn’t remember much, there was a lot of running, screaming, and bouncing off walls, driving parents nuts. Still full of beans, he arrived after a mile and a half scoot from the train station, […]
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Last night, I finished a letter that I don’t intend to send. It’s not a sending sort of letter. It’s the sort of letter that shows that I can articulate my side of the problem. I can get from start to finish coherently. I can keep on track and not get waylaid by additional details. (GO ME!) […]
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Long lost and missed. Many a double vodka lime (cordial) washed down by a Fosters (🤢yuck). Many a card game stitched up by Shaun, mocked by the frogs on the Budweiser mural. Many a pre-shift drink before clocking into the nightclub. Many a random stint behind the bar. Second home. Now something called a ‘PSI […]
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Living an ear-popping 15 foot (rough guess) above ground level means that cars, specifically Myles’ cars, have a treacherous near-vertical descent to the road whenever they need to catch bad guys, escape dinosaurs, or go to the airport. Over the weeks, many a car has ended up in hospital because they’ve lost grip and plummeted […]
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Not too long ago, I stumbled upon Trello. Now, Trello is this website that helps people manage projects. On Thursday, I thought ‘I have a blog, that’s a project!’ and so I started to project manage my blog. This requires (in my mind) backdating posts. With the year-end of weekends coming up, I had my […]
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When starting this little journey of weekends, I was clutching at something to write. I was looking to slow time, regain control, and remember my life. After the first year, I was surprised it had been better than I’d remembered. I was taken by my bias towards remembering negatively. I was pleased to be proved […]
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Watching Shaun wince, forget and cuss, and hearing him muttering colourfully with his Yorkshire tongue, got me thinking that I don’t know what he’s going through. Unable (and unwilling) to replicate the pain, today I borrowed his sling and pretended my shoulder was broken.
Read moreSince the dawn of my blogging, having an About Page has been a dream. The one I’ve now got isn’t much to write home about, but this weekend has been nice having a smidge of identity. To celebrate, Myles took Shaun and I to a Scooby-Doo/KISS concert. Head-moshing galore!
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Unlike the ghost who visits, this one lingers. It eats food, stinks like sin, and snores at night. I’m looking at it right now. Ugly fucker. Gnarled and fetid and ogreish looking. Ah, shit — that’s the mirror. But trust me, this ‘ouseguest of mine ain’t a picture neither. As someone who has lived on […]
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The whole weekend went a little like this: Shaun would reach for something with his broken shoulder arm. I’d wince. Remind him his shoulder is broken. Tell him off because he’s still reaching. But to make him feel better, because life with a broken shoulder sucks, especially with me shouting, Myles took us out for […]
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If you follow my weekend posts, you’ll, of course, be aware that my every weekend is a dice with death. This weekend was no different.
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I don’t think I have a name. If I do, I don’t know it. Another thing I don’t know is how I made it through the day. I think the tea IV helped. Last night, I went to bed a little later than planned, around 00:20. It always takes me a little while to fall […]
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The pattern is a circle, like a cycle — a monthly cycle, if you will.
Read moreI’m pooped. I can’t keep my eyes open. I’m too tired for words. I’m a little vague on who I am, but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice discovery when I go ‘woo’ ’cause oh my… So true. So true. Saturday saw Myles taking me to Pirate Pete’s where, for one […]
Read moreWalking to the shop today I overheard a very distressed little girl (she couldn’t have been more than 4) talking to her grandmother. “But granny,” the little girl cried. “I’ve got to stop my legs from growing!” “No darling,” granny soothed. “We need to buy you some new trousers.”
Read moreMonumentally spent building a rather complicated dragon lego figure and watching Scooby Doo. The war that followed Scooby Doo, between the dragon and the robbers who’d stolen the carpet, was epic. The carpet was lost, but so too the robbers. No better way to start a decade!
Read moreThe year of perfect vision! I look back and sure, I enter the year minus employment, but I go in with less baggage, with new habits seized, and a better sense of who I am. 2019 showed me the sight of others, showed how understanding is bigger than me, how the brightest of lights can […]
Read moreI’ve totally lost my days. It’s felt like a Saturday for maybe a month, and I’ve been in weekend mode this whole time. I really need a weekday soon. Get my life in order.
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