Back near the end of September, I purchased myself an 11-foot paddle-board. What I received was a 2-foot ladybird. I don’t really know what it is, but it ain’t 11-foot long that’s for certain. I e-mailed the company and they said they’d get back to me but didn’t. I Facebooked them and got told that […]
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Calling the Jurassic Coast ‘dramatic’ really doesn’t give a sense of just how dramatic it is. If it were a person it would be crowned — MOVE OVER LIZZIE! REAL ROYALTY HERE! There’s a view that it’s dramatic just because it can. Jagged cliffs, crashing waves — a seagull doing somersaults in the wind. It’s […]
Read moreI’m not one to lose my voice. Considering the shit I’ve lost over the years — from my keys to my sanity — my voice has never been one of them. I like to think this is because my voice is too scared to be misplaced. If it got lost, it would face my wrath (upon its […]
Read moreThere isn’t much to be said about this weekend. It had its Saturday and Sunday. It was 48-hours long. It played the hand that Life had dealt. It was good and bad, pretty and ugly. There isn’t much to be said. Amid its love and hopelessness, there was us standing, stood — held taught and caught, […]
Read moreNow that I’m with car, the 3-hour drive to their respective homes almost promotes regular visits through ease alone. It’s a case now of jump in the car and go! No 5-hour train journey. No asking my father to pick me up and drop me home. I’m independent now, baby. But neither parent wanted me. […]
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* If not, Berty would get us our first fine and he’d get towed. He’d get thrown in lockup! And knowing his owner, he’d pick up the soap…
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AND I’VE GOT TICKETS!!! I can barely contain myself. It’s taken me the whole day to write this ’cause, you know…
Read moreOn the one side, I was resting a migraine. On the other, my main man Myles’ 4th birthday party!!! Saturday saw me catch up with all my series’ since moving was vetoed. Sunday saw my first (by car) visit to Lidl, followed by a 4-year-olds birthday party! I couldn’t find everything I had to get […]
Read moreThis past week’s vertigo migraine was likely born of excess because I haven’t noticed any stress around. A little party here — one over there — it’s no stretch to see how a miserable migraine won’t like it. Perish the thought of having fun. Sickness and underwater vision. Dizziness on a tightrope. It’s such a worthy […]
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Okay, there were only 2, and they both happened last Monday, but they resonated.
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It was Nadine’s birthday bash this weekend — destination, Southampton! Because Shaun has, in his own words, ‘ferried my fat arse around for fifteen years’, it was my turn to drive. It’s fortunate, therefore, that I can. After an uneventful journey, and some confusion with a parking meter, we got to Nadine’s and I got […]
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Somewhat been a plan of mine for a good year, today I took my little man Myles on a grand public transport adventure! Our route was circular because I like circles, and we hit up all the classics. A train to Portsmouth Harbour A ferry to Gosport A bus to Fareham A train back home For […]
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Last night, whilst lying in bed feeling sorry for myself because my nose hurts and I don’t want to blow it any more The thought hit me like a truck I didn’t stick Bertie’s wing mirrors in! I know how to do it now — it just takes that bit more force than I was […]
Read moreI woke up this morning with my brain streaming from my nose. It has to be my brain because my sinuses can’t possibly produce this amount of snot. (Current peak at a whole bog roll per 2 hours.) Also, I feel dumber – my brain is like soup dribbling out of my nostrils. Had I […]
Read moreI’m feeling all grown up, doing grown up things like taking the car to get its MOT. I was a little nervous because I’ve heard about other people’s failed MOTs, and I had to kill an hour waiting. But as I suspected, Bertie is in fine fighting form! He has been given 2 advisories – […]
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* they smell like Boss Orange if you were wondering.
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Never had one. My cousin has lent me hers to use on the tube and I didn’t know what to do with it. I found it very niffty how you just tap and walk away. It’s made me want one. I see all these people saving their seconds and here I am having to find […]
Read moreI was sorting out a job in work, looking between paperwork, so looking down, and I was looking down for far too long. When I looked up again, the floor followed. The floor’s been following me and walls have been hugging me ever since lunch. No nausea, though, YAY!!! — well, a slight twinge but […]
Read moreHow last weekend saw nuptials and migraines, this weekend didn’t. There were no weddings to attend, no vertigo to steady — instead, allotment-working and paddle boarding. And how last weekend seemed to linger around, this weekend vanished — it’s my one complaint. Saturday saw me start the morning feeding a parrot. Charlie the parrot. She’s very […]
Read moreTorquay, again. This time for Tanya’s wedding. These past 4 weekends have seen me driving to and from Cornwall, Torquay (twice now), and having a migraine. The migraine weekend was meant to see me in Cornwall but the migraine made me housebound. With all these long journeys behind me and the one ahead, and with […]
Read moreI’m proper sleepy tired. I’m at that level of tired where I could just cry because I’m that tired. I’m not going to because I’ve got stuff to do. Shitloads. I had like an hour last night, 2 and a half, absolute max. Just lying there a bit riled up, nose disjointed, and in regular […]
Read moreWith this bank holiday being the arsehole of a migraine, my plans had to change because arseholes are fussy about what’s in them. Originally, it was Friday and Saturday in Cornwall for Kaytes birthday followed by lad-time with Myles and Shaun. Revised, the furthest I drove was a lonesome mile followed by jack shit. To […]
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I’m sat here with another migraine. You people are jealous. My eyesight’s funny, tummy ain’t happy, and I feel heavy. Top heavy. Very unstable. This one’s been in the making for 2 weeks. Since the last outburst, I’ve been mildly migrainous every day and I’m not stupid, I can read the signs. I can’t do […]
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When roses are red And violets are blue They party, the unwed Before their “I do”
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Beginning a day later than scheduled (due to migraine), this weekend kicked off with a Saturday drive to Cornwall. I set off at an ungodly 0630 and arrived 4 hours later, having seen Stonehenge on my detour. (I’ve yet to travel to Cornwall without a detour. This is the 2nd time I’ve driven this way, […]
Read moreI also didn’t eat a great deal yesterday, but I think my lack of sleep is the culprit. For this past week, I’ve been probably getting 2 hours. Instead of sleeping, just lying there thinking of random things. Singing songs. Running through scenarios. Work has told me to tell them if I feel unwell. I […]
Read moreWhy do today what can be done tomorrow? That was the mantra of this past weekend. It’s somewhat the mantra of my life but that’s another story. It all began without a road trip to London. Now I think of it, that may have been pencilled in for the weekend before. Whichever, it hasn’t happened. […]
Read moreI’ll not lie, I enjoyed the rain. It was much needed. I did think Saturday’s ‘thunderstorm’ could’ve done better, though. 3 pathetic whimpers and a spot of dampness. The minimum I expect from a thunderstorm is to be awed. Anything less and it’s barely enough to look out the window. Sunday’s blustery drizzly day with […]
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Well, the heat and Tuesday’s bad mood have conspired to bring about a vertigo migraine. Yippee! Nausea has my heart always. And in this spirit of romance, today I took my lover to the cinema. I would’ve preferred being reclined on the sofa. Actually, I would’ve preferred no migraine, but I can’t have everything. I […]
Read moreSaturday was too nice a day to be heading to the allotment by car. This place can be visited on foot and with cider. So this is what I did. It took a little over an hour and I was in desperate need of a piss by the time I got there. En route, I […]
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Erm… what?
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I’m 2 months into driving my very first car. (I know! I’ve kept that quiet.) And I think today was as good a day as any to misjudge my width, smack a parked car’s wing mirror, and get my own mirror dangling out like an eye popped out of its socket.
Read moreThere was a vague threat of a road trip to Nuneaton (to collect Jackie and her new lodger) but it was only vague, and I’d found myself the best parking spot, so I wasn’t moving the car for nothing. Because living so near to Palmerston Road has its perks, this weekend was the Southsea Food […]
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I shouldn’t have spent the last 2 hours watching creepy YouTube videos. Ghosts caught on CCTV. Unexplained spooky things. Creatures. Creepy, creepy creatures. Disappearances — POOF! It all seemed like a good idea at the time but now I’m done, my back’s a’tingle, my ears pricked — it doesn’t help that I keep hearing scratching. I assume […]
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* Likely a bad translation of: A weekend in Cornwall Otherwise known as: Road trip to Kayte’s!! Yes, this ray of sunshine has now driven all the way to Cornwall and back again.
Read moreI strolled into work this morning and right up to that machine. I looked it square in the window and said, “We’re going to have a good day today.” I stepped to the left head and said, “You’ve only got to worry about this trolley and this side.” I stepped to the right head and said, […]
Read moreI had to succumb to a broken spirit, but I didn’t get a migraine. WIN! (Kinda) I had to fall so far that I lost hope, fell into a routine — died inside. It’s a similar place to where you go when you’re a kid and your parents are having a blazing row. Withdraw. It’s just […]
Read moreI don’t want to sound typically British and complain about the weather, but I would like a nice downpour to reset the air, and then we may continue with this impressive heatwave. It’s just relentless. On Saturday, having given myself a migraine on Friday, I didn’t get up ’til 11. Migraines proper wipe me out. […]
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There’s a name for people like me: TWAT!
Read moreFuck me, I feel sick. I think it’s dehydration. I know not drinking enough water can set about a vertigo migraine but too much water can set up a vertigo migraine. I find myself in a very difficult position because the just right amount of water doesn’t exist. And I drink water. Lots of water. […]
Read moreAfter last weekend’s fun and games, this weekend was the polar opposite. Because other people drain after a while, I got all my being social in person done and dusted by Saturday lunchtime. Although, via text and call I remained available throughout. Because the world outside is too hive and no chill, I kept excursions […]
Read moreFor my birthday, Shaun got me a new car radio, upgrading Bertie from cassettes to USB. In preparation for installing the radio, Shaun asked me to look up something pertinent to the task in mind. I remember it distinctly: It was yesterday, we were at work, chatting about the radio, and he told me to […]
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Alongside tulips and cheese, there’s weed and prostitutes to be had in Amsterdam. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the prostitutes were of the wrong gender for me, it’s out of season for tulips, and I’m not a big fan of cheese, so I was left with weed. So much gange, marijuana, you give it a […]
Read moreTo be honest, it was a lot of me nodding my head. I kind’a got the gist of things, I’m not stupid, and most of it I’d worked out anyway, in roundabout ways, but it’s all new. All strange. All very car mechanics, and besides getting slightly turned on by a greased up hunk in […]
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34 years ago, my mother screamed and screamed, and carried on like murder, and then I popped out screaming and screaming and carrying on like murder. It is for this reason that I refuse to work on my birthday. That, and I had an interview for the Co-op for a full-time position many years back, on […]
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Well, this weeks vertigo migraine is fast taking up the whole week. If I get a say, it can go fuck itself. It can take its dizziness and nausea and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I have neither the time nor patience to put up with this crap. But put up with it I […]
Read moreHeading off to Wales for 3 days was full of purpose. It was my first proper long distance drive since buying Bertie. 190-odd miles to my father, 15 to my mother, 180-odd back. I loved every minute. Bertie’s oil warning light issue was the only, well, issue. It was my first chance to freely travel […]
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Well, I’m home-home! My home — the place where I live. Not where my parents live. I call that home, too. It can get all very confusing. 180-something miles. 3 and a bit hours. It flew by. Bertie’s oil warning kept warning me and then not warning me, fickle shit — I got an experienced driver to […]
Read moreFrom the sunny southern coast of England to the drizzly southern valleys of Wales — it took a little longer than advertised but I made it! I’m at my father’s. Going to my mother’s tomorrow. The drive was going great until a mile before the Membury Services, M4. I was feeling out the name of […]
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Unlike most other bank holidays that whizz by like as if they’re shorter than a regular weekend, this one took its sweet sweet time. It actually took its days as gorgeous, sunny days should; lazily. It all began on Friday after work. After popping to the allotment to do a spot of watering, I spent […]
Read moreIn order to live a life that is completely full, one must be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well.
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