It’s quiet outside. There are no people walking by and no cars using the street as a shortcut. The students next-door have stopped slamming their doors and the builders over the road have stopped cussing and dropping things. I haven’t heard a dog bark in days. The only life I see are two cats arguing. […]
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As predicted, Myles exploded upon discovering I had Mario Kart on the Wii. He has very strict ‘follow me’ and ‘we need to drive on the sand/grass’ rules, which put hitches in winning races. I’ve tweaked a few settings, made the driving a lot easier, and after this lockdown will be getting the kid competitive. […]
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I’ve loved Mario Kart since the N64. I’m proper good at it. My character is Yoshi. A few (many) years ago, I upgraded to Mario Kart Wii. I thrashed everyone on it. It’s one of the only things that gets me super competitive. People eventually stopped wanting to play with me and Mario Kart got […]
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It’s got a delayed start of up to 24 hours. It’s quickest wash is 14 minutes. You can ask it to wash something and go straight on to dry, and it will dry. This new machine shoots the old jumping bean in the face. It’s quickest wash was a speedy 90 minutes. It’s dry setting […]
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So, today I had a new washing machine delivered. Been living here ten years with old jumping bean, but it’s time for a change. I fancied a washing machine that wouldn’t chase me out of the room. It took me a while to unplumb the thing, mainly because everything pissed out water, but once I’d […]
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Late breakfast + skipped lunch = Got nought in the cupboard. Got nought in the fridge. Eaten the wallpaper. Eaten the carpet. Currently chewing on the sofa. But thankfully, Shaun has FINALLY got in! He’s got food! Got to wait for the oven. Can smell food. Got to be patient. FEED ME!
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Once upon a time, the little chic drove the rabbit around on search of elixirs. This time around, the little chic with its broken wing got chauffeured.
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… head-butting a wall.
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It’s allotment prepping time!!!
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It is a legal requirement (I think) for best friends to help each other tick items off the bucket list. Last weekend, during a randomly spawned conversation about washing cars, I discovered that Myles has never been to a machine car wash, and this was something on his long list of things to try. So […]
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Every day, it’s a challenge. It turns meadows into battlefields, makes rainbows in mists of blood. As much as it takes, it gives — it leaves it to us to find our balance.
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Last night, I had to park under a tree.
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Myles came ’round Saturday after his half term on holiday, fresh from visiting friends. From what I’ve been told, and he doesn’t remember much, there was a lot of running, screaming, and bouncing off walls, driving parents nuts. Still full of beans, he arrived after a mile and a half scoot from the train station, […]
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Last night, I finished a letter that I don’t intend to send. It’s not a sending sort of letter. It’s the sort of letter that shows that I can articulate my side of the problem. I can get from start to finish coherently. I can keep on track and not get waylaid by additional details. (GO ME!) […]
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Long lost and missed. Many a double vodka lime (cordial) washed down by a Fosters (🤢yuck). Many a card game stitched up by Shaun, mocked by the frogs on the Budweiser mural. Many a pre-shift drink before clocking into the nightclub. Many a random stint behind the bar. Second home. Now something called a ‘PSI […]
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Living an ear-popping 15 foot (rough guess) above ground level means that cars, specifically Myles’ cars, have a treacherous near-vertical descent to the road whenever they need to catch bad guys, escape dinosaurs, or go to the airport. Over the weeks, many a car has ended up in hospital because they’ve lost grip and plummeted […]
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Not too long ago, I stumbled upon Trello. Now, Trello is this website that helps people manage projects. On Thursday, I thought ‘I have a blog, that’s a project!’ and so I started to project manage my blog. This requires (in my mind) backdating posts. With the year-end of weekends coming up, I had my […]
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When starting this little journey of weekends, I was clutching at something to write. I was looking to slow time, regain control, and remember my life. After the first year, I was surprised it had been better than I’d remembered. I was taken by my bias towards remembering negatively. I was pleased to be proved […]
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Watching Shaun wince, forget and cuss, and hearing him muttering colourfully with his Yorkshire tongue, got me thinking that I don’t know what he’s going through. Unable (and unwilling) to replicate the pain, today I borrowed his sling and pretended my shoulder was broken.
Read moreSince the dawn of my blogging, having an About Page has been a dream. The one I’ve now got isn’t much to write home about, but this weekend has been nice having a smidge of identity. To celebrate, Myles took Shaun and I to a Scooby-Doo/KISS concert. Head-moshing galore!
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Unlike the ghost who visits, this one lingers. It eats food, stinks like sin, and snores at night. I’m looking at it right now. Ugly fucker. Gnarled and fetid and ogreish looking. Ah, shit — that’s the mirror. But trust me, this ‘ouseguest of mine ain’t a picture neither. As someone who has lived on […]
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The whole weekend went a little like this: Shaun would reach for something with his broken shoulder arm. I’d wince. Remind him his shoulder is broken. Tell him off because he’s still reaching. But to make him feel better, because life with a broken shoulder sucks, especially with me shouting, Myles took us out for […]
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If you follow my weekend posts, you’ll, of course, be aware that my every weekend is a dice with death. This weekend was no different.
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I don’t think I have a name. If I do, I don’t know it. Another thing I don’t know is how I made it through the day. I think the tea IV helped. Last night, I went to bed a little later than planned, around 00:20. It always takes me a little while to fall […]
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The pattern is a circle, like a cycle — a monthly cycle, if you will.
Read moreI’m pooped. I can’t keep my eyes open. I’m too tired for words. I’m a little vague on who I am, but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice discovery when I go ‘woo’ ’cause oh my… So true. So true. Saturday saw Myles taking me to Pirate Pete’s where, for one […]
Read moreWalking to the shop today I overheard a very distressed little girl (she couldn’t have been more than 4) talking to her grandmother. “But granny,” the little girl cried. “I’ve got to stop my legs from growing!” “No darling,” granny soothed. “We need to buy you some new trousers.”
Read moreMonumentally spent building a rather complicated dragon lego figure and watching Scooby Doo. The war that followed Scooby Doo, between the dragon and the robbers who’d stolen the carpet, was epic. The carpet was lost, but so too the robbers. No better way to start a decade!
Read moreThe year of perfect vision! I look back and sure, I enter the year minus employment, but I go in with less baggage, with new habits seized, and a better sense of who I am. 2019 showed me the sight of others, showed how understanding is bigger than me, how the brightest of lights can […]
Read moreI’ve totally lost my days. It’s felt like a Saturday for maybe a month, and I’ve been in weekend mode this whole time. I really need a weekday soon. Get my life in order.
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Not one endowed with the ability to select the perfect gift, I also lack in the wrapping department. Where I excel, though, is distracting with ribbon. I can’t tie bows, at least not classy ones, but I can get a pair of scissors and scrape ribbon into curls. So that’s what I did. I badly […]
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A week ago today, at around this time, Jackie and I were landing at JFK. Our crack of dawn drive to Heathrow — my chance to re-do Security at the Gate — the hours of watching us fly through the sky curtesy of Virgin’s on-tail camera were all done as we prepared for touchdown in […]
Read moreFor reasons of cloudy vision, my father got the milk scooped out of his eye in some hospital a whole timezone away from his home. Okay, ‘whole timezone’ is a slight exaggeration, but it wasn’t the 3 nearest hospitals to him and it did take 24 hours to get from mine to his, scoop out […]
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Surprisingly, digging out the tree this year was easy. Goes to show the benefits of keeping things together in a sensible place 👍 To add to the ease, I didn’t spend the usual hours and hours, attempting, attempting, blindly believing that I can get the lights nice. I can’t. I never do. So this year […]
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Last weekend, the plan of action was not to work. I failed miserably. To achieve the plan this weekend, I started on Monday and continued it through the week = get my work done to get a work free weekend! I’m pleased to report, SUCCESS! (Indeed I am) Monday and Tuesday were a little touch […]
Read moreI don’t know how I know me like I don’t know me at all It’s like my mind’s this lodger I found to share my body pall It’s like I am these strangers stitched together by the soul One feels hot and bothered while the other is freezing cold
Read moreHidden is tomorrow, all the things I do not knowI know something is coming, something I need to know I know I need to know it, I need to react as wellI need to know what’s coming so I can plan aheadSo I sit and think and mull, I ponder and wonder tooI think up […]
Read moreDo. Not. Work. That was the action plan. My thinking was logical. It’s the weekend. I’ve worked all week and it’s been really hectic. Birmingham, Reading, I’ve met my first learners. I worked last weekend (a little). Have a kick-up and chill weekend!!! I deserve it! Nah… I spent it rewriting my CV. “WHAT?! You’ve […]
Read moreWe should’ve helped each other better Given selfless care We should’ve seen the other’s pain hiding under hair We should’ve noticed different things Looked around for more We should’ve wished for both of us the feel of loving whole You could’ve found belief in me Peered beneath veneer You could’ve held aloft my depths without […]
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Mmm mmm mmm!
Read moreThis silence is easy between us. Peasy. Sort of nice, isn’t it? Peaceful. Grateful. Delightful. Seems natural too, don’t you think? Organic. Everyday. Bliss. Makes me wonder why we didn’t do this before. Why we thought it was hard. Silence is easy. Peasy. It’s only our active act momentarily. It doesn’t require the effort of […]
Read moreIn all reality, this weekend had one task = write a competency statement. Unfortunately, I can’t say the word ‘competency’ without trouble (I can spell it though), and there were so many pressing issues to solve that I only managed 400 words out of 5 pages. Being a home based worker requires an office – […]
Read moreBefore I gained an hour, Saturday was a lads’ day. It started at lunch with hardcore trains and transformer action, and it ended watching movies, drinking ovaltine. After I gained an hour, Sunday turned into a reading ‘The principles and practices of assessment’ day. I was meant to be doing the autumn clean (bit like […]
Read moreHaving only clocked up 340 miles this week, I thought I’d double it to pop to my mothers. ‘Pop’ lol, it took 2 hours to get passed Southampton.
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After a hectic second week as a home based funeral coach, which saw me in Cardiff, Bridgend, and Swindon, the weekend was split between a full Saturday and a fuck all Sunday. I met up with Myles on Saturday and we played with all of his new toys – transformers, more transformers (the kid has […]
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My new job as a funeral coach is predominately home-based, and that’s great for a number of reasons: Never late for work! No commute! I finish work, I’m home with an actual click of the fingers! Sorted! Life is grand! I can get used to this. But I hadn’t taken into account that I work […]
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Where? After a quick google, here: A decidedly random place to end a Sunday, but with the new job starting in Yeovil this morning, rather understandable. Saturday, I went to walk into town, got as far as the end of the road and had to turn back ’cause I’ve never been so wet, at least […]
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I need to master this set-off time lark for when I set-off on long journeys. I always end up in rush-hour traffic on some carpark that’s supposed to be a motorway, and if I every tell you I enjoy it I’m a liar. Can’t stand it. I think, LET’S KEEP MOVING, PEOPLE! I set-off for […]
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Having an issue is all well and good as long as you can voice it well enough to make sense. It doesn’t work if the issue trips out of your mouth like nonsense. I get funny looks as I mash how I feel into gloop with my lips, and I end up very quickly giving […]
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