A delayed weekend of kindest regards

A Scutt at the letting office took it upon themselves to bad mouth us to the landlord because we have the audacity to still have an issue with being given a boiler that looked like this:

(It’s not easy to see, but the screws are missing and the flue is free-floating, perched by its crook in a grate.)

While many of us would be concerned that their new home had a flue dangling a foot in front of the boiler, I’m pleased to report that a Kenny in Maintenance assured that the boiler was safe to use as shown.  

(Carbon Monoxide poisoning isn’t real, people — it’s a conspiracy.)

Nobody knows how the flue fell off the boiler. According to a Duffy in the complaints department, it was fine when the last tenant left and then it wasn’t before we moved in. It’s nobody’s fault.

Being someone who takes exception at being gassed to death while sleeping, I’ve waged war with these arseholes to get to the bottom of this.

Being someone who takes exception at being bad mouthed by people who rent me dangerous properties, don’t do what they’re meant to do, and generally slope their shoulders vertical, I rattled off an email to the Scutt that ended with:

Get your house in order before going after the victims of your own negligence.

Kindest regards,

With the Scutt having stoked my distaste for these sloppy shouldered arseholes, I told that Duffy:

It is customary to respond to an email that asks questions, but since you have shown yourself to be unwilling to clarify or expand upon the statements you’ve made — you’ve just dropped them and left — I’m not surprised that you have declined to reply. 

Managed to get in:

Tut-tut-tut. If my full and thorough work was so easily proved erroneous, I’d struggle to feel pride

Ended with:

By not finding your company in breach, you condone and facilitate negligence with Mann Countrywide Residential Lettings.

It is that sentence above that gives me further insight into why you decline to reply. 

Kindest regards,

As a related side-note:

According to The Health & Safety Executive and Gas Safe, flues are supposed to be attached to boilers.

(This is probably were the Carbon Monoxide conspiracy theorists start conspiring… 🤷)

Gas Safe registered engineers are required to check gas appliances and flues ect. prior to every new tenancy.

(Smells like a conspiracy to me, which is ironic or something, because CO is odourless.. 🤔)

Anyway, my delay in writing this weekend post is because that Duffy replied.

It was their usual brisk, ‘I’ve said we’ve done wonderfully, now stop talking to me’ email.

Initially, I started with:

I’d first like to extend my congratulations to you for replying to my email. I hope the novelty of doing such didn’t cause you too much distress.

But I went with:

I am more than confident in the knowledge that you are wrong and I am right. 

Managed to slip in the beauty:

Our five year old in a coffin, if it was closed, you’d think of as a nice place to rest your wine. 

And crescendoed around the question:

The person who completed the closing report that satisfied Mann Countrywide Residential Lettings that our boiler was safe, were they a gas safe trained and registered individual?

Ended with:

Do you care sufficiently to answer that very simple question?

Kindest regards,

In other news…

The kid descended (possibly much to Duffy’s chagrin because they haven’t a place to put their wine) and after he’d left, I got investigating the settings for LegoCity Undercover.

I’ve discovered something that’s going to make him explode (just not in the way that’ll help Duffy out with her wine holding problem, unfortunately).

Because we’ve collected the red brick, there’s a setting that gives us nitro-boosters on ALL cars, not just a select few.

Nitro-bus.

Nitro-wheelchair.

There’s a small car that if you nitro and turn a corner, you somersault through the turn, land on wheels, and zoom off down the road.

He’s going to love it.

In healing news, Shaun’s thumb’s is looking more thumb-like (just shorter) and less that lady off Kill Bill that got the top of her head sliced off, which is nice.

And outside, it rained.

Tomos James

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