I’ve an ‘ouseguest

Unlike the ghost who visits, this one lingers. It eats food, stinks like sin, and snores at night. I’m looking at it right now. Ugly fucker. Gnarled and fetid and ogreish looking. Ah, shit — that’s the mirror. But trust me, this ‘ouseguest of mine ain’t a picture neither.

As someone who has lived on their own for a decade, I’m finding this set-up a pleasant little nightmare. I thought I’d combust somehow or at least scream, but I’ve only rocked in a corner three times, so I’m adjusting well.

(Little old hermit me got’a be social 🤣)

I like my quiet nights of paused TV, paused music, and writing. Writing. Well, trying to write. I find having an ‘ouseguest motivates me to not try and fail in the first place. When I write now I actually write or don’t bother starting. Saves on a lot of wasted hours.

I like dossing about, not really achieving much — having a spurt of inspiration and getting shit done in the morning. Now, I find I potter about, spritz this sink, and do things as and when needed. I’m not getting shit done in the morning, though, which is my preference.

I like dancing in the mirror, belting out my tunes, and getting down with my bad myself like as if I’m on stage, a must see. Now, with actual audience, I get heckled and recorded, and submitted to You’ve Been Framed.

Accepting someone into my space of ten years and living with them is proving both easy and tricky — easier than trickier because much of the trick is me. It’s in how I deal with things now that my isolation is over. It feels like I’m being integrated into a society that is 24/7 when I’m used to one that occurs more often around me, at least after I’ve stepped out the door. It’s a tricky road, full of hairpins.

My top 5 things I love about having an ‘ouseguest:

  1. Saying “good night” and “good morning” to someone who isn’t in the mirror.
  2. Being hungry, not knowing how to sate me, and having someone else both suggest and cook the perfect meal.
  3. Having a conversation with a voice that isn’t mine, and which replies more than most inanimate objects.
  4. Getting home to a “Hi!” is, I’m finding, a nice welcome home present. Beats the hum of the freezer, certainly.
  5. Silence in comfort, watching the same thing. I also like how my programmes like Magnum PI and Hawaii 5-0 have a new lease of life now that I can update someone on character details.

I do like to be alone.

I do like having company, too.

I find the hum-drum of life, like cooking and chores, is much less hum-drum with two. I hate doing so much of that crap. Now, I only have to hate half of it. Short of getting a cook and cleaner, that’s a win in my book.

Tomos James