Fuck me, I feel sick.
I think it’s dehydration. I know not drinking enough water can set about a vertigo migraine but too much water can set up a vertigo migraine. I find myself in a very difficult position because the just right amount of water doesn’t exist.
And I drink water. Lots of water. Just not so much today because I felt sick. Every drink of water I had made me feel sicker. The only reprieve I got was when eating a ginger nut biscuit. Actually, 2 ginger nut biscuits. I found only eating 1 didn’t work. For the whole time I was eating the biscuits, and for about 5 minutes afterwards, I didn’t feel sick. I took that today. I took that often. I ate nearly a whole packet.
I originally awoke this morning fine and dandy but once my body realised that I was awake, my stomach turned and I asked aloud: “Why you doing that?” Of course, nausea can’t answer back. What nausea does is it kicks you repeatedly, as hard as it can, in the stomach for giggles.
I got myself up and had some breakfast — I could be hungry. Sometimes, if I eat, the nausea just goes away. I was hopeful but it didn’t pan out like that.
After a number of false starts, I got to the car which is no-longer parked out front. I haven’t updated the whole world on this latest driving revelation just yet (I don’t think). I sat in it and I realised I’d forgot my lunch. I’d left it on the kitchen side. Well, I’d already done 3 false starts for various fucking things, and I was feeling good so I really couldn’t be bothered to traipse all the way back home to get it. So I left it there, fuck it. Went to Sainsbury’s instead. Got myself some ginger nuts.
A combination of a hot day, us Brits really not being geared up for such an event so have little-to-shit aircon, and 2 ovens belching out 200 degrees made for rather a nauseous day.
I needed to keep hydrated because of the heat but water was just making me feel sicker, and there was no point going adventurous with my drinks, like having a cup of tea. I did have a cider after work, though. I thought that if I’m going to be wobbly and nauseous then I’ll get me a proper excuse. Okay, 1 cider isn’t really a ‘proper excuse’ but it’s better than not having any.
I dream of the day when the body does away with migraines
I am fortunate because I don’t seem to get a headache. Not a real jackhammer going at it. Although now I’ve jinxed myself.
I get vertigo and nausea with my migraine. Believe me, when it’s all having its moment, it’s quite enough. I couldn’t imagine throwing a headache into the mix. Actually, I can. No thanks, I’m dealing with enough shit. Cheers.
Now, the vertigo part, although it can bring about nausea and be particularly bad, is alright. I don’t mind a bit of wobbliness, miss-footings, the need to take corners carefully or else fling off into space. That last bit feels really weird and I quite like it. It’s like I’m in orbit and to change direction I’ve got to have an anchor. Sometimes I’m a little daredevil and I don’t hold onto something to turn a corner. It’s like a mini-ride. I don’t think I physically do a great deal but in my head it’s thrilling. With vertigo, and vertigo alone, I can go about my daily life without much hardship. My eyesight turns more long-distance and can get sensitive to the light. The latter does pose an issue indoors because with sunglasses on it becomes too dark to see.
The nausea part can go fuck itself. Nausea on its own. Nausea with vertigo. FUCK OFF! When the nausea just wants to be remembered, it’s tolerable and I don’t need a sick pill. When it’s feeling frisky it can quickly become unbearable. It’s the waves. Mild nausea I can handle, I can even take it a harder, but when it crescendos into this pummeling it turns into something beyond my will. I just ain’t got the power. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve met my match. I’m just going to sit here and cry.
I’m home now. I’m lying on the sofa. If I don’t move I’m alright. I’ve lost the TV remote and I need the toilet so not moving isn’t going to last long. I think I’ll just move myself to bed.
I’m drinking the shit out of water, which means I’m going to piss like a trooper throughout the night, in the hopes that tomorrow morning this nausea won’t be feeling so frisky because I don’t want to. I’m not some piece of meat it can take advantage of day in day out.