If only I was different

If only I was different
If I was someone else
I know I’d be magnificent
No bargain off the shelf
I would surely be the envy
Of everyone about
And then I’d finally like me
Love me without a doubt

If only I was different
If I was here to win
My life would be significant
Not trash thrown in the bin
I would never feel such worry
Wouldn’t even need to curse
Because life wouldn’t be this flurry
Of bad things getting worse

If only I was different
If I was someone new
I’d never be this reticent
Facing what others do
I would never feel their laughter
They’d never point at me
They would see I’d have the answer
They’d see I’m living free

If only I was different
If I, another me
I’d likely be no different
My face is what I’d see
The lines the mirror sketches
Would look just like my own
Because life’s a path of guesses
Of hardships carved in stone

If only I was different
If I could have me stay
I’d see I am belligerent
Wishing myself away
I’d see I am enough
I’d see I do believe
I am turning myself ‘to dust
Before I’ve learnt to breathe

Tomos James

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