A weekend of discovery

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On Saturday I discovered that 32-inch waist jeans are now roomy. You can fit a truck between the jean and me, and if I’m wearing them it’s nearly a fist.

What happened to my 34-inch​ waist?

More to the point, where’s my 32 gone?

Do I even want to be a 30-incher?

Why have my breasts enlarged?

Is that where those inches have gone?!

Bastards.

After this, ​I popped to The Works and made a discovery that will stop the death stares — my cousin’s girlfriend’s name!

I heard my name called out, there was Alex and ______. I introduced Jackie to Alex and then drew a blank.

I’ve not remembered her name 3 times.

In fairness, the 2nd time we met I’d completely forgotten we’d met before. I apparently helped her choose between dresses. So technically, it’s still…

I know her name now. It’s Claire or Clare, I didn’t think to confirm spelling.

In my defence, I’m really bad with names. Like really bad, I can’t stress how bad I am.

And I was drunk all the other times I met her.

Moving on, I later discovered The Show.

It’s a film. It’s got a lady I really recognise. She’s was in another film/tv​ series that I liked. Tip of my bloody tongue, too! I can bloody see her! Woo, wait — (Google) Sarah Wayne Callies (I wouldn’t have got that), she was the nurse in Prison Break.

Anyway, the film is about a reality tv show called This Is Your Death. On this show, ​people commit suicide for ratings.

It’s was actually alright​. The acting wasn’t fantastic, and it was a little tenuous in places, but if you like to watch people die then this is a film for you. Explosions, electrocutions​, pretty much you name it.

I actually watched it, which is unusual.

 

Tomos James

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