A weekend in Scum

Well, Sunday and a bit of Monday.

Saturday, I’d breakfast with Jackie in ‘Spoons and the afternoon was spent with Shaun and Myles down at the arcade.

Our ‘Spoons is a regular ‘Spoons with drunk people at 9am, and the arcade got shed loads of my 2p’s — okay, a pound but all those 2p’s weigh little people’s trousers down when they stuff them in their pockets.

Sunday. For those who don’t know, ‘Scum’ is Southampton — it’s a loving name us Portsmouth dwellers have given our neighbours. The name has roots, has a whole story and history that I don’t know.

After a train replacement bus to Fareham and then an actual train to Scum, Shaun and I met up with Nadine, Kerry, and Martin in the Slug & Lettuce. I don’t mind the Slug & Lettuce, just don’t have their Hunters Chicken (it smells like a freshly embalmed body).

We then moved on to this other place that was either called Elephant or Giraffe or Gorilla, it was some mammal I’m sure. Probably the Geranium or something nothing of the sort. It had lots of glass, a communal loo, and it was all flare and flourish.

Speaking of ‘flare and flourish’, we met Dean here and had 2-4-1 cocktails. I don’t know what Shaun was making me drink, it wasn’t strawberry daiquiri I know that for sure, but it was very nice, I didn’t mind it at all. Something julep — juniper julep? Maybe.

Next was this rock bar. I stood out like a sore thumb. They sold Hooch but I didn’t notice until Shaun had got me a pint, but with a bit of charm I ended up with 2 drinks and only drank the one I wanted, which was the Hooch. The pint got drunk elsewise ’cause it was clear I wasn’t having it.

And then things get a little hazy.

There was a mango shot involved and that did not go down well, and there was a sambuca that went down marginally better. There was a walk through scum and Scum, another pub, and then it rained.

I woke up on a sofa.

After a full breakfast, an aimless walk around Scum to kill time between trains, Shaun and I headed home. I left my belt by the sofa.

Great night — we shouldn’t leave it 2 years between catch-ups! Well, I’m 2 years but they’re 6 months. I’M AN ALBATROUS! They like this song, they just don’t want to admit it. Also, I would quite like Nadine’s flat. Not by the church with its incessant dinging, but somewhere quieter it would be perfect. Little balcony, quirky shape — double glazed! Oh what I’d do for a double glazed window… I’d move (one day).

And then it was today, and today I wasn’t really with it. Still not really with it. I’ve eaten now so I’m a bit more with it but I’m really not here at all.

I’m there — over there! Dancing off the walls…

Tomos James