Lesson 07: Give & take — the writer & the researcher

Lesson 07 asks I contrast 2 things (people, objects, emotions, places, whatever) in dialogue.

2 opposite things, compared.

A conversation.

The writer & the researcher

“You really should be helping me write this post,” the writer said.

“I’m researching it,” the researcher replied.

“No, you’ve got us on YouTube watching Top Ten Facts videos.”

“Well we’re not now and it was all research.” So there.

“You were wasting our time.”

The writer found his head shaking.

“I haven’t even written anything,” the writer said. “You could’ve at least pretended to take this seriously.”

“Excuse me,” the researcher snipped. “I have been hard at work researching contrast.”

“We had that idea about night and day,” the writer talked away, “but you got us distracted by frog spawn.”

“‘Distracted’ is a strong word; and it wasn’t frog spawn, it was hedgehogs. They’re nocturnal,” the researcher said. “I got us onto frog spawn after learning how to build a small pond, an insect hotel, and a frog house —”

“I know, I was there.”

“So blame the RSPB website.”

“I’ll blame you.”

“What, for doing research?”

“What research?”

“Night and day, hedgehogs and some diurnal animal; or you’ve got living in water and out of water — tadpoles have gills, frogs have lungs. Same animal — if that isn’t contrast right there.”

The writer wasn’t impressed. “Explain the video about the wolves unable to separate after having sex.”

“David Attenborough, no more explanation needed. Can you imagine being designed that way to ensure fertilisation? Would make life awkward if you ask me.”

“So you then made us watch an eagle throw a goat off a cliff?”

“Attenborough again. Poor goat, just tumbled down. To get over the shock I took us to that article about the world’s hottest chilli that might kill you if you eat it but no-one’s tried.”

The writer didn’t care for these excuses. “This isn’t research,” he said.

“It is! Life and death! The sex one, I’ll admit, was click-bait — but still, the contrast could be stuck together and not stuck together. ”

“A little tenuous.”

“Only if you want it to be.” The researcher was pleased with his afternoons work. “I’ve dug up the question concerning that 1983 shuttle video that has a dude in the background — fact or fiction? Come on! Then the Gangman Style man, what he’s doing now against what he’s done. And then I’ve ended us up on what we know and what we don’t know, Top Ten Facts. All research. All things you could’ve written about.”

The writer did not agree. “Nothing sparked my imagination.”

“Only because you didn’t want it to.”

“No, you were wasting our time.”

“Or you couldn’t be bothered to write.”

Tomos James