It helps, when you write, if you persevere until you’re clear.
When what you write doesn’t make sense, when the very thought of words knots your stomach because you can’t get them from your head, don’t give up even if it feels like your best option. Keep going, keep writing, even if the blank page taunts you — especially when it taunts you! Stare that damn flashing line in the face and write down pure nonsense. Anything. Just write. Make sure you write — have a break, too — just keep going and eventually what you write will make sense.
After 2 bereavements the stress of being bullied got my precious writing mislaid. I would write but nothing would come — I was full of thoughts but nothing formed a sentence. A horrible feeling. Worse than what I was going through. Silenced.
It was months of sitting at the computer with nothing on the page, maybe the odd poem or something, but not my book. Nothing of any worth.
I considered giving up. I’d decided I wasn’t any good so I might as well stop right now. In the dying throes of my writing I trawled my archive for words and stumbled on this little adage I’d written 16 years ago, adapted from a Murder, She Wrote movie:
Patience, direction, determination, and strength
The quiet perseverance of me and my soul.
It reminds me that writing is tough, that it is blood and tears, that it is a punishment worthy of being taken — the places you go, the emotions you give, powerful stuff. Healing.