Have you ever — you never? You did!

Have you ever — you never? You did! You have!
You met me then thought yourself ever so suave.
You did — am I right? I knew it! Me, too!
We’re suspiciously similar — I’m no different to you.

Have you ever — you never? You did! The fuck?
I thought it was just me who did things like that!
What happened? You didn’t? You did! Oh no!
We’re really this similar — there’s no difference at all.

Have you ever — you never? You did! Shut-up!
I don’t believe you — you didn’t do it — you’re making it up!
Whatever — you liar — do you think I’ve been brained?
You know what, I like you — you should be restrained.

Have you ever — you never? You did! Ha ha!
You’re a riot — you’re priceless — you’re a comedic star!
I like this, this between us, this thing that we are —
It’s obscure to all others — it’ll carry us far.

Have you ever — you never? You did! GET OUT!
I’m serious, take a tissue — you’ve a bullshit smeared mouth.
Excuse me? I’m sorry? Was that another mean name?
Honey, a mirror — we’re one in the same.

Have you ever — you never? You did! We’re cool —
We’re okay — no harm done — we’re just two arguing fools.
What’s words among friends, eh? We’re the best that we’ve got —
We’re no different — too similar — and we both just forgot.

Have you ever — you never? You did! Aw shucks —
It’s mutual, I promise — I too think you’re a twat!
We collude — no word spoke — we share this thing ‘life’ —
We’ll be best friends forever so mate, drive ’til we die!

Written in cahoots with Shaun House
Tomos James