An end of life discussion

The benefits outweigh the bad

before need

From our alarms in the morning to our duvets at night barely a moment goes by without death making an appearance in one form or another – from the fly killed by Raid to the meal on our plates, to our programmes that at night entertain – and we’re so surrounded by death that it melts unnoticed (almost) into the background of our everyday lives.

Pets, pot plants, celebrities – these all die – and the news likes to remind us of how many other people (and animals, etc.) do daily die in manners most criminal, most natural, most downright bizarre.

Death plays a big role in our lives – from the corn on the cob I’ve just eaten to the cells in my body, to the channel CI – so why can’t we freely admit it and talk about it with our loved ones?

I wonder, what stops us from acknowledging that death will deeply touch us one day…?


Talk of death & funerals…

It’s fear, I figure, and a lot of different types of fear that make up our unwillingness to discuss death and funerals with our loved ones. The fear of the unknown, the fear of loss and being left on our own, the fear of the finality that is death, that is this process that doesn’t rest, that carries on regardless of our want…

We’re powerless against it, though – we’re all going to die – and although discussing death and funeral requests over a glass of wine isn’t necessarily the mark of a good night, discovering the preferences of our loved ones, whether they want burial or cremation, horses or a motorcycle hearse, or a particular song played at the time of their committal, will afford us a measure of power and control when around us the World has fallen down.

Now the depth of your enquiry is entirely personal – you can go so far as to arrange a pre-paid funeral plan purchased from a reputable company, one which entirely arranges the funeral before need, or you can merely garner the basics – but through the discussion of death comes the passion for life, and comes a knowledge that will help you when faced with the funeral arrangements.

Consider your own funeral and tell your loved ones, and gather from them their own requests – like most things, to talk of death and funerals is worse in mind than in reality, and it doesn’t need to be done seriously. Death doesn’t mind being laughed at – it is a process as old as life itself, and every joke it’s heard millions if not trillions of times before, and if it can’t take a joke it has no right to exist…


The basics:

  • Cremation or burial?

  • Type of service (Religious, non-religious, or Humanist)?

  • Any personal requests (music, flowers, dress-code etc.)?

When in doubt, contact your local Funeral Home – they’re nice people, they’ll help you out
Tomos James